Therefore, Dark Past
by My Beautiful Ending
Summary: Kidnapped and forced to teach vampires how to feed, Riss and Bree move from town to town, place to place by the whims of their keepers. When they end up in Santa Carla, they encounter a pack of vampires that acts different than what they're used to. For one thing, they don't care for the girls' keepers, either. Could Riss and Bree finally find allies? Could they finally be free?
1. Chapter 1

**Me Myself: what are you waiting for. Just publish it.**

 **So, I watched this movie for the first time right before Halloween, GOT OBSESSED, and wrote this during Nano.** It's all Alexandra's fault. **So therefore, that's why it takes place in late November. Sorry about the seasonal mix-up. And Merry Christmas, I'm gonna post the first TWO chapters! Please let me know what you think :)**

 **Fair warning: I do use Language in this story. I try not to do it gratuitously, but when I do use it, I feel that it fits the themes going on that I'm dealing with. And there's violence later. But if you're watching Lost Boys, I'm going to assume that you can deal with both those things. Just be advised.**

* * *

 **Therefore, Dark Past**

The trailer slowed and turned more often now. We must have left the interstate. In the dark, I fumbled for the water bottle in our nest of blankets and sloshed the water left inside. Only about an inch or two.

I searched for Bree's hand. "Thirsty?"

"No, I have to pee," she whispered, the tiredness creeping into her voice.

I sighed. "Come on, then."

"I _hate_ that port-a-potty," she whispered brokenly. "It _stinks_."

"We've been in here for three days. It would." After three days of darkness, we were both fraying at the seams.

As the trailer bumped and bounced, I helped her up and felt around for the small portable toilet that Vivian and Andre had left for us. "Here we go," I said, handing her the toilet paper wedged in the corner. In our miserable five feet by eight feet existence, I waited braced against the wall as she did her business and pushed the flush mechanism on the port-a-potty.

Bree was right; it did stink. Emptying the toilet wasn't something Vivian and Andre deemed important enough to open our trailer for. The oscillating fan brought in more oxygen for ventilation, but never seemed able to get rid of the smell.

"Where do you think we're going?" Bree whispered as we lay down in our nest again.

"West," I said, remembering the direction we had set out in three days ago. "Though we might be anywhere now."

"Who do you think we're going _to_?"

"I don't know," I replied woodenly. "We never see them again, so it can't be anybody we know." I unscrewed the water and swallowed the lukewarm liquid. "You want some now?"

Bree took the bottle, and I heard her drink. "I'm so damn tired of this," she whispered. "I want to die."

"You and me both," I agreed. But we couldn't die. They wouldn't let us. Not yet.

* * *

"Yo, Maxy," Paul said as the boys swung into the back room of the shop after midnight. The boardwalk was shutting down, and the video store had closed early.

"'Sup, Maxy!" Marko called, grinning. David and Dwayne just sauntered in with smirks on their faces.

"Sometimes I despair of you boys," Max muttered, rolling his eyes and putting down his dusting rag.

The boys exchanged glances, and David sighed, knowing that his pack was itching to feed after playing for most of the night. "Why did you call us down here, Max?" he said, eyeing their sire.

"Your night activities are getting a little… public," Max said, with a little acid in his voice.

David decided to tread carefully. Max was mild most of the time, but when he was angry, he was a force to be reckoned with. "We took care of that beach incident."

"And the thing with the car and that dude," Paul chimed in.

Dwayne punched him. Justifiably, David thought. He should have kept his big mouth shut.

"Hey, what —" Paul exclaimed as Marko came to his defense, swinging at Dwayne.

"Settle down," Max snapped with steel in his voice.

The boys let go of each other, disgruntled.

"This is what I'm talking about," Max continued, lip curling slightly. "Youthful high spirits is very well for the first few years, as well as the blood and carnage. But eventually you need to learn manners."

" _Ohh_ , manners," Marko mumbled, and Paul, never down for long, mimed sipping tea with his pinky out.

"Decorum and control," Max said, shooting a look at them.

David glared the boys into submission. Max was having one of his testy nights; it wouldn't do to needle him further. "So?" he asked.

"I have some… old friends coming to town," Max said, turning and unpacking videos to stock the next night.

David exchanged looks with Dwayne, who raised an eyebrow. The only old friends Max had were those of their kind, and so far, he had never introduced them to the boys.

"They'll be here tonight, so once they're settled in, I'm taking you boys for a visit. They teach young vampires control. I'm sure that you'll do your best to be very attentive and make me proud." He straightened and looked at them over his glasses.

The boys shifted awkwardly until David said, "Sure. Just say when and where."

"Tomorrow night, after dusk. Meet me here and you can follow me to where they're staying." Seeing the annoyed and unhappy looks on the boys' faces, Max added, "It won't be as bad as you think. Their teaching methods are… unique. And quite enjoyable. You'll see."

* * *

The house was big, with a huge, fully furnished basement. Plenty of room for sleeping quarters for Vivian and Andre, plus a place to lock us in.

"Look at it this way," Bree said, whispering so they wouldn't hear us through the door of our room. "There's a real bathroom connected! Our very own! And a window!" she said rapturously. "Sealed, of course, but it's a window well with light that will come in!" She smiled, her brown face nearly glowing. An impressive feat after months with no sun and a lowered immune system.

"I'm a fan of this real mattress," I said, laying back on the double bed's ugly bedspread and sighing. It was a far cry from the three-room hunting cabin in the Colorado mountains where we were shut into what felt like a large walk in closet, or that temporary-turned-month-long stop in a sleezy motel in one of the Dakotas. "Which side do you want?"

"Doesn't matter, Riss," Bree said absently, opening our duffel bags and pulling out her few clothes. "You pick." She opened the wardrobe and hung up her two dresses, putting shirts and sweaters in the drawers. "Where do you want your clothes?"

"Leave 'em," I said, staring at the ceiling. "I don't care."

Bree pushed her black curls out of her face. "Come on, Riss." She picked up my jeans and t-shirts and put them in the drawers, hanging up my sweaters. "I'm putting all the underwear in this top drawer here."

"Fine." I didn't care how I looked or what I wore. It drove Vivian and Andre crazy, and I didn't give a shit what their clients thought. I twisted my blond hair around my finger. I did want a shower though. "Is there shampoo?"

"Go check," Bree said, stuffing the duffel in the back of the wardrobe.

I swung my legs off the bed and cracked my back, wincing at the bruise still on my abdomen. "Yep," I said, opening the bathroom door and staring into the shower stall. "Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, shaving cream, face wash…."

Bree sat down on the bed. "And it's _private_. We can take all the time we want while they're sleeping. We can —"

The lock turned in the door and she froze, mouth snapping shut. I leaned in the bathroom doorway and tapped into my rage, the only thing that allowed me to be numb in their presence.

Vivian stepped through the door, a smile plastered on her beautiful face. "I hope you girls like your new room," she said, smiling and waiting.

Bree smiled nervously. "It's beautiful; we love it. Thank you, Vivian."

Vivian turned expectantly to me. I stared at her until Bree looked at me anxiously. "Yes," I finally replied. "Thank you, Vivian." She always did this. Like being in nice places with good amenities made it better that we were prisoners.

"Did you see the mini-fridge?"

"What?" Bree said, sitting up straight.

"It's in the nightstand." Vivian pointed with one long red nail. "Under the lamp. There are sodas and snacks in there for you. You girls rest up, now," she said with a smile. "We have visitors tomorrow." She shut the door with a soft click, and the new deadbolt lock swung home.

Bree clasped her hands. "Maybe it won't be as bad this time," she said with hope, the worst kind of poison, in her voice. But I knew better.

Bree was relatively new; her smiles still begged the clients not to hurt her. She still prayed at night. She hadn't seen Allison bleed to death with some bastard's fangs in her neck, or Rachel's neck snapped from one of Andre's uncontrollable rages. She hadn't begged God for nearly a year for help, for death, for anything. This place was too far from God; He couldn't hear me.

This was hell, and I had no hope left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Really? That's what you're wearing, Marissa?" Vivian said, crossing her arms over her chest.

I looked down at my baggy black V-neck and skinny jeans. "Last time I checked, yes," I said, setting down three bottles of Coke and a large packet of crackers by the ugly loveseat I had designated as mine. It had huge flowers not found in nature stamped all over it. The dull shag carpet felt funny on my bare feet, and I kneaded my toes in the tassels. For the most part, this house was big and old, a rental that they had worked on to make habitable for those who… couldn't be bothered by the daylight.

She sighed lightly, brushing a speck of dust off her long black dress. "Well, at least you used all the skin care products." She patted her blond pompadour and turned to Bree to complement her sundress. While nearly December, SoCal was warm enough for that still. Specifically Santa Carla —which was apparently where we had stopped.

I settled into the aged cushions and watched Vivian move about the room like a perfect hostess from the thirties or forties. She probably had been —she was old, older than Andre, and he was pushing one hundred.

"Are you ready, Marissa?" Andre's lilting voice called as he walked down the stairs. I ground my teeth at his accent and the use of my full name.

He tipped my chin up and smiled down at me. "Are you going to be good, Marissa?"

I didn't answer.

"Max von Rieff is a very old friend of mine, and he's bringing his sons here tonight," Andre said. "And I want you to _behave._ Is that understood?"

"A-aren't we going to bargain?" Bree said hesitantly, probably seeing the glint in my eye.

Andre relaxed. "Of course. And since this is a big job, for many clients, it can be a large request. Brianne, what would you like?"

Bree bit her lip. "Could... could Riss —"

"Marissa," Andre corrected her, and the bones in my hands ground together as I made a fist.

"Marissa," Bree said, "And I —could we have a shopping night for some new clothes and things?" We only had a few things they had given us, and a few things we had bargained away from clients.

"I think we can arrange that," Vivian said with a smile. "The boardwalk is always a fun place to shop, and I'm sure you can get some fetching things."

"And you, Marissa?" Andre asked, raising a dark eyebrow.

I smiled sweetly. "You could set yourself on fire."

A muscle in his jaw jumped. His mouth twisted right before his hand shot out and grabbed me by my neck, squeezing hard. I gagged. "You will not disrespect me," he hissed in my ear. "Did you not learn your lesson the time before?"

I coughed; black spots appeared in my peripheral vision.

"And don't forget, Marissa; I know where your family lives. I know where your little sister sleeps," he whispered.

I reached for the black, hoping for bleak emptiness, but he let go before I could find it. Air rushed into my lungs, and I coughed again, rubbing my throat.

"But this is a new place, a new environment. Change is always difficult. I am willing to forgive. Try again," he said, velvet coating the razor edge in his voice. "What would you like for this job?"

I leaned back into the sofa and closed my eyes. The fluttering playbill stuck to the front door as we walked in flashed into my mind — _see the Nutcracker live on the Boardwalk! Five-dollar Admission!_ I thought of Lisa, twirling her ballerina costume. "Can I see the Nutcracker?" I asked, voice rough. There would be no better time to ask; this was the most energy we'd have for a while. It would be all downhill in a few days.

"That sounds very doable," Vivian said soothingly.

"Without you," I added in a low voice.

"We will have to see about that," Andre said in a dry voice.

Vivian put in, "You will certainly need a chaperone, but who knows; maybe one of Max's sons will be able to take you." The sound of motors grew louder in the distance. "That sounds like them now. Now, girls, compose yourselves while we greet our guests."

"What were you thinking?" Bree hissed when they had left the room. "Don't provoke the monsters, Riss!"

I unscrewed the first Coke bottle and took a swig. "What's a day without a dig at Andre, Bree?"

"After this hell, I finally get white people in horror movies," Bree said, casting a glance at the door. " 'Ohh, what's that scary noise? Let me play with the possessed doll!' Black people move the hell away. What do you get out of it besides pain, Riss?"

I stared into the middle distance, voice flat. "I just… think that one day he'll lose it and that'll be it, over and done. No reason to come after my family."

"But you can't leave me, Riss," Bree whispered miserably.

I looked over at her through my mane of blond hair. She looked near to tears.

Guilt stirred within me. "No, I won't leave you," I assured her. "Hey. I promise. Blow your nose, okay? I can hear 'em coming up the steps."

* * *

Vivian was a tall and thin blond with Marilyn Monroe looks that had his pack doing double takes. Andre had 'douche' written all over his slick black hair and thin goatee.

"It's been a long time, Max," Andre said, shaking Max's hand. "They're a fine group of boys."

David smirked and exchanged looks with the pack. Max had absolutely nothing to do with their looks, genetically or otherwise. Dwayne outright glared.

"Good to see you, Andre, Vivian. This is David, Dwayne, Paul, and Marko," Max said, going down the line.

"Pleased to meet you boys. Well, do you want to come in for a nightcap, Max? Vivian will handle the rules and introductions."

The men disappeared into the house, and Vivian sat down on the rickety porch swing. "Well, now. Let's get acquainted. Has Max told you much about us?"

"Nope," Paul said cheerfully, hopping onto the porch rail.

"Max doesn't tell us much of anything," Marko joked.

"Well, Andre and I take it upon ourselves to… socialize the younger members of our kind. Teach them how to control their thirst, drink responsibly, and hold back on carnage and bloodlust. It gives you an edge if you want to mingle further with humans. It also gives you necessary strength and endurance." She clasped her hands together, red nails glinting. "Right now we have two girls with us, and —"

"Girls?" Dwayne interrupted.

All the boys stared at her.

"Yes," Vivian said, tilting her head. "That's how we teach you. You drink, but do not drain. You sense when your prey is weakening and learn how to pull back. You learn how to be… gentle with humans." She smiled. "You may find some humans like this, and will _let_ you drink from them. Like I said, it's a very beneficial skill. The girls we have right now are Brianne and Marissa. They're very nice. I'm sure you'll like them."

"What kind of freaks are they that they sign up for this?" Marko said with a laugh.

Something in Vivian's eyes didn't sit right with David. "Not freaks, no," she said. "The way we do things is, we want to make them feel comfortable. It's an arrangement, you see. So we make an exchange. Their blood for… something else. A trinket, or a gift, or a favor." She smiled. "It's only polite, after all. Do you understand?"

They all stared at her. Finally, David said, "We understand. Don't we."

They murmured something that clearly meant, _'no, not at all.'_

"Well, that's good enough for now," Vivian said, standing and brushing off her dress. "Come in and meet the girls."

* * *

I cracked my neck for the thousandth time as Vivian led four boys into the room. They looked my age, late teens, but with vampires, you could never tell. They were obviously young, though —they still wore current fashions. Still kept up with the times and looked flashy. Even the mullets screamed, 'look at me! Be afraid!' They hadn't gained the art of blending in —or at least didn't value it yet.

Vivian sent the two blonds over to Bree —a smart move, because they looked chatty, smiling brightly at her. No fangs yet. She smiled nervously, and the one with curly hair said something that made her giggle.

Vivian ushered the other two towards me. I didn't smile, just looked them up and down. One had dark hair, a cluster of necklaces, and no shirt under his jacket. The other wore all black, and his platinum hair shone in the light. When he saw me looking him over, his eyebrow quirked, mouth twisting in a smirk. His facial hair softened the lines of his jaw; otherwise he might have appeared brutish.

I sighed and took another sip of Coke. It never mattered what they looked like, just what they were.

"Hi," the blond one said, after a minute of staring.

I peeled my lips back in a humorless smile. "Hi. Are you a neck guy or a wrist guy?"

That damn eyebrow quirked again.

I made a face. "Because my neck already hurts, so we're not gonna do that."

"Oh, we're not picky," the blond said, smirking.

I held up my wrist. "Fine. Go for it, boyo."

"No, no, no, no," Andre said, swooping in with their sire, brandy glasses in their hands. "We are not starting with drinking directly from the vein. Accidents happen too easily that way. We start with major muscle groups —still full of blood, but less danger of bleeding out. Max, why don't you go help your boys with Bree." The sire walked over to the couch with Bree and the blonds sitting on either side of her.

I sighed and pushed up my loose sleeves to my shoulders. Letting one arm rest on the back of the loveseat, I held my Coke with the other. "I love not being able to move my arms," I muttered. Andre ignored me, but the boys smiled.

"If you do it right, you can drink from humans with minimal discomfort," Andre said.

I doubted any vampire cared about that. I rolled my eyes and made air quotes behind his back.

The blond smiled and asked, "What does that mean?"

"It should feel like I'm getting a really long shot, but in reverse," I put in dryly. Maybe they realized what a jerk Andre was, too. "And _not_ like someone's gnawing off my arm."

"All right, who wants to go first?" Andre asked, clapping his hands and rubbing them together.

The blond slapped the brunette on the back and they shared a look. The brunette turned to me and said, with a low voice that sounded like it had a burr, "What do you want?"

"Hmm?" I said, too busy being surprised he talked at all. He had 'incredibly taciturn' written all over him. "Oh. Mmm." What would be guaranteed to piss Andre off? I stared at his hands. "How good are your back massages?"

Andre coughed. "Marissa…."

"It's just a question." I shrugged artfully. "If he's not good —"

"I am," the brunette said, glaring at Andre.

I almost smiled genuinely. They really didn't like him. "Then back massage. After. What's your name, anyway?"

"Dwayne." And that was all the conversation we had as he sat down, took hold of my arm, and sank his teeth into my deltoid muscle. I winced and tried not to move. He wasn't bad, but it still hurt.

Sipping from the straw that Vivian came by and stuck into my bottle, I tried to ignore the blond, who was staring at his friend and at me. After a few minutes, I felt hot —my first sign of blood loss. I pressed the Coke to my face and sighed, waiting for the spots.

They never came. The blond stood and squeezed Dwayne's shoulder, which made him pull back. I winced away from his boney features and wide-rimmed eyes, concentrating on breathing deeply. "She was feeling it," the blond said to Dwayne and Andre.

"Very observant of you, David. Now, Dwayne, you need to learn how to bandage the wound you caused."

I ate crackers and started the second bottle of coke as Dwayne, with some coaching, wrapped my arm in gauze.

"Now, give Marissa a few minutes, and then you can have your turn, David." Andre turned away to go see if Bree needed any help.

"Don't you just love being talked to like you're five," I sighed. _Or like you're a pet,_ I thought. Something that needed care but no consideration.

David smirked as Dwayne dabbed at my blood in the corner of his mouth. "So why the Coke and snacks," David asked, motioning to me.

"When you give blood the regular way, they want to make sure you don't faint, that you keep your sugar and iron up," I said, wondering why he cared. "Same sort of deal."

"You want that massage now?" Dwayne asked abruptly.

I raised an eyebrow, surprised. "Sure." I turned sideways on the couch. Dwayne sat behind me, and David perched on the arm in front of me. Dwayne's hands started at my neck, and I sighed. It seemed like he actually knew what to do —and he was actually trying to be gentle. I decided to thank God for small miracles and closed my eyes, grateful.

"So how long you been with this gig," David asked.

"Almost a year?" I mumbled, trying to calculate as my brain turned to mush along with my muscles. This was heaven.

"So how'd it start?"

What was this, twenty questions? Why did he care? "I was fucking kidnapped, that's what happened," I snapped. "I didn't _volunteer_ to be pimped out as a blood bank, thank you." I opened my eyes to make sure Andre hadn't heard that, and I saw David grin.

"Makes sense," he said, flexing his hands in black leather gloves. They were well worn, molded to his hands. Maybe I'd ask for another massage, since this one was going so well.

"All right," Andre said, walking over with a look in his eye. "That's enough. David, why don't you —"

"I haven't worked out all the knots yet," Dwayne said, still kneading my shoulders and spine. I felt a sudden rush of gratitude —and victory, as Andre watched Dwayne touch me with jealousy in his eyes.

I knew he watched me. He used to watch Allison, before she died. He can't touch us; something about having non-virgin girls for blood trainers lowers the allure and the price. But he wants to. And it makes me hate him more.

I looked up through my lashes and saw David staring at Andre with a smirk on his face. He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I knew he could tell as well. I matched him smirk for smirk, and it felt good. Powerful.

A few minutes later, Dwayne said, "Good?"

"Mmmm," I agreed, sleepy and relaxed. And, because I hadn't felt like that in quite some time, I said, "Thanks."

"Fine," Andre said. "Now, David —"

David out and out glared at him. "We haven't bargained yet."

 _This boy has balls; I'll give him that._ I scooted to the other side of the couch and yawned. "That probably moved the blood around to all my major muscle groups." I crooked my finger at David. "C'mere."

He sat down beside me. I whispered in his ear, "Say 'Riss'."

"Riss," he repeated, blue eyes glinting.

I bit my lip as the slight rasp in his voice shivered up my spine. "I want you to call me Riss," I whispered. "And kiss me."

He pulled back and stared at me as I grinned slyly. His eyes bounced from Andre to me, and that damn eyebrow quirked again.

 _Scared_? I mouthed, smiling with my teeth bared. I sighed. It was a long shot anyway. "Fine. I want… your earring,"

He pulled the strange thing of wire and cloth out of his ear and handed it to me. I quickly shoved it into the pocket of my jeans. There was always some slim chance I could do something with the wire —pick a lock or something.

"Are we ready?" Andre said, returning from the other group. He could hover like no one's business. "David, take your gloves off. You need to be able to feel the changes in Marissa's body temperature."

David locked him in a blue-eyed stare for a long, long moment before slowly pulling off his black leather gloves. I could feel the power struggle. His hands were pale and scarred from multiple injuries —old wounds. Human wounds that had had to heal and knit together.

Not really knowing why, I reached out a hand and touched his. "I like your hands," I said. Then I stretched out my arm and closed my eyes.

It wasn't bad. No worse than Dwayne, maybe even a little better. And Dwayne watched me this time, and when I felt woozy, he noticed and tapped David on the shoulder, making him pull back. And when David wrapped my arm, he did it well, like he was used to wrapping injuries.

After ignoring them both, eating two more crackers, and finishing off the second bottle to make sure I wouldn't feel dizzy, I collected my things and stood. "You boys have a nice night." I turned in the direction of the basement stairs.

I had only taken two steps before I heard, "Where you goin', Riss?"

I stopped, a smile tugging at my mouth. I turned back, pushing some of my blond hair off my shoulder with a sore arm. "What?" I said, letting the smile bloom, enjoying the rare sensation of pleasant surprise.

"Where you goin', Riss," he repeated, stepping towards me.

Oh man, was he…? He was. Well, he was cute —as cute as I was going to get. And the glint in his eye promised humor of some sort. "Say it again," I whispered.

"Riss," he said, before taking my chin in his gloved hand and kissing me.

And —in my inexpert opinion, of course —it was a good kiss.

Strike that. _Great_ kiss.

When David finally let me breathe —which felt like an eternity later—I could see Andre out of the corner of my eye, white lipped. So I smiled genuinely the inch or two up into David's face and said, "Come again soon."

That wicked grin crossed his face again, and I felt a rush of power.

* * *

After we were sure Vivian and Andre had gone to bed, and as the dawn crept into the tiny window in our room, Bree whispered, "You _kissed_ him! How was it? Why'd you do it?"

I rolled over on the bed to face her, smiling a little. "Well, I wasn't gonna die un-kissed. And he's not that bad looking."

"Okay, you know all four of them were gorgeous," Bree said. "What did you get from the other one? I couldn't see."

"A back rub," I said, rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling. "It was phenomenal."

"So that's why Andre was so pissed," Bree whispered.

I glanced back at her. "What about you? What'd you get off your two?"

"Their names were Paul and Marko," she said, fishing in the pocket of her dress. "They weren't bad. They were funny, anyway, and even though their sire had to pry them off me, they didn't sink their fangs in too deep or thrash. So I got a ring from Paul —he's the taller one," she said, showing me a silver ring with a black stone. The only finger it would fit on was her thumb. "And then a pin off Marko's jacket." The pin read, Altamont.

"You think it's genuine?"

"Who knows," she said, slipping off the bed to get her cigar box. Bree was like a jackdaw with all the knickknacks she got off the bloodsuckers. She could get jewelry, books, flowers, and articles of clothing —anything. I picked things I knew they didn't want to give me —or things that would piss of Andre.

I ran my tongue over my lip. Tonight would be the shopping trip Bree was promised. Possibly the night after I'd get my Nutcracker. The pang of longing for Lisa intensified in my chest, and just for a moment, I indulged it, thinking about my eight year old sister and her flawless pirouettes. How we'd go see the Nutcracker together in the city every year, and she'd point to the Sugar Plum Fairy and say, "That's you, Riss!" And I'd laugh and say, "Shouldn't I be Clara, huh?" And then she'd say, "No, Clara doesn't get the Prince!" And we'd laugh, because I had no princes yet.

And now I never would.

I forced the thoughts away. Two days, and then more vampires. But vampires who didn't like Andre. I smiled a hard little smile. It might not be hell.

* * *

 _The next night_

Dwayne nudged David's shoulder and pointed along the Boardwalk. David turned and looked across the crowds of teens and bikers, and then he smiled. "Well, look who's out and about." He glanced at his pack. "Should we go and say hello?"

"Yeah, let's be neighborly," Paul said, grinning.

"That's what _gentlemen_ would do, right?" Marko added.

The boys swung off their bikes and walked across the Boardwalk to the cheap clothes stands for tourists and beach bums. The black girl was holding up a floral top, while the blond watched passively, hands in the pockets of an oversized sweater. Only the female vampire was with them, which was fine with David. The male rubbed him the wrong way.

"Evening, ladies," Paul said as they surrounded the girls.

"That's a nice top, you should get it," Marko told Bree. "It would look good on you."

"Aww, thanks," she said with an awkward smile. "Hey, Riss, this is Marko."

"And I'm Paul." Paul started to reach for Riss, but David caught his eye and imperceptibly shook his head. Paul turned the action into a spin of a clothes rack.

"Hey," Riss sighed, eyes, flickering over her shoulder. "I suppose I've gotta introduce you two now, huh?" She rolled her eyes. "David, Dwayne, Bree. Bree, David, Dwayne."

Bree smiled and waved awkwardly.

"Boys," Vivian said, swooping in. "We agreed that —"

David waved away her protests. "We've just come to be neighborly. Say hello." A smile twisted its way over his face as Riss made a face and gagged behind Vivian's back. He was willing to bet she didn't have much of an audience for that sort of thing. "We give tours of the boardwalk, too, if you ladies are interested."

"I'm afraid we don't have much time for that tonight." Vivian smiled. "We'll see you boys the night after tomorrow."

"Vivian," Riss said, lifting her head. "What about tomorrow? You said…."

"Oh," she said, puzzled. "I did, didn't I."

Riss nodded, a grin hiding in the corner of her mouth. "So," she drawled, turning to David. "This shopping trip is Bree's thing. Mine is seeing the Nutcracker tomorrow at the boardwalk theater. But I don't wanna go with …them. Wanna be my chaperone?" She smiled with all her teeth.

David returned the smile. "Sounds fun. I'll pick you up after dusk."

Riss's smile took on a look of triumph. "It's a date."

* * *

"I haven't got anything to wear," I drawled sarcastically, falling back on the bed after Bree's shopping trip was over. Though Vivian had tried to shoo the boys away several times during the night, they hovered around us, throwing out silly comments and clothes recommendations, and generally trying to make us laugh. Paul and Marko, anyway. David and Dwayne smiled at the jokes but didn't join in.

The bulk of the clothes in the bags were Bree's —we believed in milking a bargain for all it was worth— but I had gotten a worn leather jacket and some new tops, plus a dress for tomorrow night. I always wore dresses to the Nutcracker. It was a sleeveless sundress, a deep plum, but the material was soft and thicker than normal. I could wear it with the leather jacket.

"You could wear some of my jewelry," Bree offered kindly. "I've got a pin that would look great in your hair."

"Thanks, Bree," I said, genuinely touched. We had so little; it was hard to let go of some of it, even for a short time.

"So," she said, sitting on the bed and folding clothes. " _David_."

"He's a blood sucker."

"A cute one."

"I'm not looking for a relationship with death. Or someone who's trying to kill me."

"But…."

"But it'll piss Andre off," I said. "And there are worse choices than David." I didn't tell her that I sensed he was the unofficial leader of the boys, and that lent some power to …whatever this was, as well. That was what I felt when he kissed me. When he smirked in my direction. Power.

Right.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: a big thanks to everyone who reviewed! Also, the lovely LostInSantaCarla3 made me realize that I forgot to mention this story takes place pre-movie, so the characters might not be quite the ones we know and love yet. I hope everyone also had a great Christmas. Here's the next chapter! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

"You look good," Bree said, as I stared at my reflection in the small bathroom mirror. The plum with the leather jacket looked great, and several days of good hair products had made my blond hair shiny. The silver pin glinted, pulling back some of my hair on the side. The rest of it fell nearly to my waist. We didn't have any makeup, but there wasn't any help for that.

"Sure you don't want a necklace?" Bree asked.

I shook my head. "I don't want to mess with it all night."

The doorbell rang.

"That's him," Bree said, eyes shining. "Here, take these." She shoved ballet flats at me, and I slipped them on my bare feet, swallowing nerves. She smiled and sat on the bed, wrapping her arms around the knee pulled to her chest. "Have fun, okay Riss? Then tell me all about it."

"I'm gonna live it up," I promised her, squaring my shoulders. Then I heard the key turn in the lock, and Vivian opened the door. I wished she'd knock, at least.

"Are you ready, Marissa?" she asked, looking drop dead gorgeous, as usual, polished beyond belief like a 40s film star. I tamped down the irritation. Well, tonight I looked pretty good myself.

"Sure," I said, following her out the door. Once up the creaky basement stairs and down the hallway, I grinned at David. He stood in the entryway, exchanging alpha-male stares with Andre. This was promising.

He glanced at me and said, "You look nice."

"Thanks," I replied dryly. A man of few words. "Let's blow this popsicle stand."

"I expect you back by eleven thirty," Andre said, looking unhappy.

"Even Cinderella got _midnight,_ " I said disgustedly. "Anyway, I don't know how long the production is."

"Midnight is fine," Vivian said soothingly. "We will see you then, Marissa."

Shouldering past my keepers, I reached for David's hand. "C'mon, chauffeur."

As we stepped off the porch into the blue-black night, he asked, "So, midnight."

" _Fuck_ no," I mumbled. "But not 'til dawn either, or he'll come looking for us, which would be bad."

"Two AM then," he said, swinging onto his motorbike. "Climb on."

I awkwardly pulled myself on, using him as ballast. I was thankful the dress had a flowing skirt to give me room. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I held on as the engine roared to life and we sped off down the drive.

He drove _fast._ Probably a vampire thing. I concentrated on keeping my head down and hanging on, thinking that of all the things that could kill me, a motorcycle crash wouldn't be the most likely. The wind whistled through my hair, and I listened to the silence in David's chest where a heartbeat should be. The lack of sound wasn't as disturbing as I had expected.

Once we got to the boardwalk, he slowed to a normal speed, and then pulled up in front of the large grassy space where the outdoor theater lay. The shell dome had its back to the sea, and the grassy hill was already dotted with people. I waited silently in line with David as he paid for our tickets. Part of me had wondered if he would try to sneak us in without paying. I didn't care either way, but I was surprised that he had gone the honest route.

"Where do you want to sit?" he finally asked.

"Somewhere with a good view," I murmured, listening to the orchestra warm up. I sat down in the grass and David sat next to me, and then the magic started.

I always felt like the Nutcracker Ballet was a little bit magic. The lack of words, the soaring music, the dancers doing things I never could… it was as magical to me as stepping into fairyland or the land of the dolls.

And good always wins.

As Clara received her Nutcracker for Christmas, I leaned sideways and rested my head on David's shoulder, just to see if he'd let me. I held my breath.

After a minute, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I exhaled slowly, watching the dancers twirl and spin. I stayed there for the rest of the Ballet.

As the Nutcracker defeated the Mouse King and turned into a prince, I felt my heart wrench. _I miss Lisa._ Her infectious grin and annoying forays into my space and reading books on rainy Saturdays together. I missed being a sister.

When Clara and the Nutcracker stepped into the Land of Snow and the snowflakes pirouetted, I thought, _I miss home._ Our house with the wrap around porch in north Texas, the sweltering summers, the sometimes-snow dusted winters all full of Christmas twinkle lights.

As the Spanish, Arabian, and Russian dancers took the stage in the Land of Sweets, I tried not to think about my mother walking past my empty room day after day. Would she have kept it the same, or would she have given everything away, like when Dad died three years ago? Would she have given up hope on me by now?

As the Sugar Plum Fairy danced the _Pas de Deux_ with the Prince, my eyes filled with tears. _I miss being me._ I missed Rissa Townsend, sister and daughter, full of smiles and joy. Not Riss, coarse and cold from capture.

But eventually, the dream ended. It had to end —in the ballet, and in real life, too.

We just sat for a while after the ballet ended and everybody got up to go. I wiped my eyes and leaned forward, arms propped up on my knees.

"What now?" David asked. He hadn't moved a muscle the whole ballet.

"Can I have a dollar?" I whispered.

"Why?"

I turned to him and swallowed. "Please don't ask me, David. A dollar in quarters. Please."

He helped me up and followed me back to the boardwalk. I stopped by a pay phone. Promises like _I'm not calling for help_ or _I'm not making trouble_ tried to leave my lips, but I pressed them together, hard. I wasn't going to justify myself to him. He'd either give me the money or he wouldn't.

He dropped four quarters into my palm.

I stared at the silver in my hand. "Count to two hundred and then knock," I whispered before shutting the phone booth door. With shaking hands, I dropped the quarters in and dialed the familiar number.

The phone rang twice before someone picked up. "Hello, Townsend residence," said the quiet voice of my mother.

I hadn't heard her voice in nearly a year. I nearly choked up, but I pinched my nose, hard, and nasally asked, "Is Lisa there? Christine would like to speak to Lisa."

"Lisa!" My mother called. "Telephone!"

The phone thumped a few times changing hands until my sister picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, pepunk," I said shakily. "It's me."

I heard her gasp. "Rissa?" she whispered into the phone.

"Yeah," I whispered brokenly. "Hey. I —I watched the _Nutcracker_ tonight. And I thought of you."

"You saw the _Nutcracker_?"

"Yeah, on a beach with a boy, can you believe it?" I said, twisting the phone cord. "I'm sorry I couldn't see it with you, but I wanted to."

"Rissa, where are you?" Lisa pleaded. "Please come home."

"I can't come home just yet, honey," I told her. "I know it's hard for you to understand, but I promise, I _will_ come home. Listen, I can't talk for long. So quick, tell me everything that's been going on with you —go!"

"I won the spelling bee at school, and Kelsey and I play house a lot of times on the weekend, and I'm going to be Mary in the Christmas pageant at church," Lisa said promptly. "And Mom is sad a lot. Sometimes she goes into your room and cries."

"I'm so proud of you, pepunk," I said, rubbing my eyes. "But you can't tell Mom about this, okay? You'll just have to give her extra big hugs from me."

"We pray for you," Lisa's far away voice said. "Every night, that you're safe and you'll come back."

My heart crunched. "Keep praying," I said with numb lips, giving her that hope I had lost. "I love you lots," I said, as David knocked on the glass. "I promise. I promise."

"I want you home," Lisa whispered.

"I want me home too," I said, voice cracking. "Soon, okay? Soon. I've gotta go. I love you."

"Love you!"

I hung up the phone before I started to sob.

"Trouble in paradise?" David drawled as I inched out the phone booth door.

I sniffed violently. "No, I love dying by inches."

I started walking to force away the sorrow, not caring if he followed me or not. But I heard the rhythmic footfalls of his boots on the wooden planks. I didn't want to be teary. But angry, I was good at. "I love being far from home. I love being leered at every single _fucking_ night." I shot a slightly apologetic glance at him. "Not you."

"Andre?"

"Yeah." I scuffed my flats along the boards, then kicked them off and picked them up. I stepped down the stairs that led to the beach, feeling the sand in between my toes. "He's not ever gonna do anything about it," I stated, reaching the seashore. The waves rolling onto shore roared quietly in the dark night. "Because the whole virgin thing is like a big deal with the older vampires. They get way more money for it. Though apparently it doesn't do a thing for the blood's taste."

" _What_ about money?"

I looked over my shoulder at him. "Oh, yeah, your sire is paying Vivian and Andre a large chunk of change for this." I gestured to myself, a sick smile plastered to my face. "This don't come cheap." I dropped my shoes in the sand and walked towards the water until the waves lapped at my ankles, pulling and sucking, saying _come into the water. Come in._

If I just kept walking into the water, would David pull me back, or could I just keep going until the waters closed over my head? I've always loved the water.

 _You promised Bree you wouldn't leave her. You promised Lisa you'd come home._

"Please don't make me go back," I whispered to the ocean. "This isn't living."

"Riss," David said from behind me.

I dug my toes into the wet sand and swallowed. "Say it again."

"Riss." His fingers found mine —skin on skin. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I said, letting him slowly tow me down the seashore.

"Somewhere else."

I stared at our intertwined hands. "How'd you hurt your hands, David?"

"Accidents. Broken glass. Barbed wire."

"Barbed wire? Really?" I said, running my thumb over his fingers.

"Youthful indiscretions," he said, with a flash of that wicked grin again.

"Damn it, David, why are you doing this," I said tiredly. "You're a vampire. Being nice to your food supply isn't normal."

"Who says we're normal?" he said, coming to a stop. "I like pissing off that ass as much as you do." He smiled devilishly. "I like kissing you." He shrugged. "The fact that you taste good is a perk."

I shot him a dirty look. "You're twisted."

"You're just realizing that now?" he said, smirking. "Isn't being human about seizing every day as it comes? Or is that bullshit."

"It's bullshit," I said darkly. "But I don't think anyone has ever thought about this sort of shitty situation. Unless someone has written some really creepy supernatural Stockholm syndrome harlequin novel."

"Well if they have, I'm sure you can find it on the Boardwalk," he murmured, still smirking at my Stockholm syndrome comment.

"I'm sure you'd know all about that." I stuck my nose up in the air.

"Actually, I would." He tugged me closer and pressed his lips to mine as the sea breeze rolled in from the Pacific.

We spent most of the next hour like that, walking on the shore, me occasionally splashing him, he kissing me when I managed to spray him with seawater, not talking much.

In the back of my mind, I knew that he didn't really care, not like I wanted him to. But I was so affection starved from a year of hell that this faux thing was feeding something I needed. I was willing to take what crumbs I could get.

We eventually left the shore and walked down the road that I recognized led to the house Vivian and Andre were renting. "What time is it?" I said, leaning on David.

"One thirty."

I laughed out loud, and it rang in the stillness of the night. "They're gonna be so pissed."

"That's the plan." He kissed me again, and his facial hair tickled my skin. I smiled against his mouth, tugging on his pale blond hair that he tucked inside his collar.

"So why the Nutcracker," he said, running his fingers through my hair. "I was wondering."

"I always go see the Nutcracker," I said, looking down. "With my sister. Lisa. She's eight now." My throat closed, and I couldn't speak for a while. David draped his arm around my shoulders as we walked. "It's like our thing," I whispered. "Andre wasn't going to take that from me."

"You called her, didn't you."

"Don't tell," I said, looking up at him. "Please."

He shrugged artfully. "Who would I tell? Andre the dick?" He made a face.

"So sweet," I drawled. "I like the new bling." I tapped his new earring that dangled from his left ear.

"Thanks," he smirked. "What did you do with the other one?"

I had hidden it in the mattress. "That's for me to know and you to find out," I said, raising my eyebrows. I turned my face up for another kiss.

"Watch out," he said in a low voice. "They're looking out the window." He stared over my shoulder at the house that had just become visible on the hill.

"Ohh, vampire vision," I cooed. "Well. I guess we better make it count then."

We took turns tugging each other up the hill and kissing. I got the feeling he was humoring me, but I didn't care. For a few minutes more, someone would give me affection that I wanted, and I was going to take advantage of this.

When we got to the porch, the door opened, and I heard, "Marissa." Andre's voice was covered in hoarfrost.

I pressed my lips to David's one last time, fisting my hands in his overcoat, trying to make this last. "See you around," I whispered against his lips. As I stepped away from him, I felt the tension in the air between Andre and David, like a taut rope they were playing tug-of-war with. Stepping around Andre, I walked in the door.

"You're late," Vivian said, arms crossed and toe tapping.

"We lost track of time," I said, shrugging out of my jacket and touching my swollen lips.

"Well, did you —"

Andre stepped in and shut the door, right before he backhanded me into the wall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Oww," I mumbled, pressing a cold pack to my black eye. My eye was swollen shut, and the whole left side of my face was bruised, as well as my shoulder. I had hit the corner of a painting at just the wrong spot.

"Oh, Riss," Bree sighed, squirting cream onto her fingers and gently massaging it into my bruise. "He was really mad."

"Yeah, he was really mad." I groaned.

"Was it a good night, at least?" she whispered.

"Yeah," I said in a small voice. That helped make up for the vicious backhand and him standing over me screaming obscenities until Vivian could talk him down enough for him to storm out of the house. "Andre needs to practice what he preaches." I probed my shoulder and hissed.

Bree moved over and rubbed my back comfortingly.

All of a sudden, we heard a commotion coming down the basement stairs. I struggled to sit up just in time to see our door jerk open and a brown-haired, snotty, crying mess of a girl come flying through.

"Girls," Andre said, breathing heavily, "this is Star, your new sister."

"Get away from me!" the girl screamed, backing up against the wall, her face streaked with tears.

My stomach twisted, and my gorge rose. I bit my lips to keep anything from coming up.

"Brianne, come out here," Andre said, jerking his head.

Bree, who had been reaching for the girl to console her, said, "But she—"

"You let Marissa comfort her," he said, smiling. "That can be her… punishment."

I glared daggers at him, hoping that if I just conveyed my hate enough, he would burst into flames on the spot.

With a regretful look at me, Bree followed him out of the room. Our door slammed shut, the lock ramming home.

"Are you _one_ of them?" the girl demanded. "Please just let me go, please —"

I got up and took the tissue box out of the bathroom, handing it to her. "Does it look like we are?" I said, gesturing to my face. "Here." I opened our fridge and pulled out a bottle of water for her and another ice pack for me. "Do whatever you need to do. Cry, whatever."

"Please just tell me what's going on," she whispered brokenly, unscrewing the water bottle. "What _was_ he?"

"Andre and Vivian are vampires." The word sounded silly, conjuring up images of aristocratic people in formal dinnerware and fangs, lisping artistically. Not death that stared you in the face and smiled about it.

"But that's —"

"Impossible," I said flatly. "Yeah, well. You'll get used to it. Where are you from?"

"The boardwalk," she said, blowing her nose. "He just grabbed me —said if I didn't do what he said, he'd kill my little brother."

My stomach sank again, and I thought of the wire from David's earring I had straightened out and hid under the mattress. Maybe if I tried, I could dig it into my wrists and…. I nearly laughed. They'd smell the blood and be in here before I finished the first wrist.

"But Laddie _needs_ me," she continued, gulping. "I'm all he's got; what's going to happen to him? He's only eight," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" I pressed the cold pack to my face.

"We ran away from the group home," she said. She blew her nose. "They were going to separate us. But I'm sixteen; I can take care of him. But what's he going to think when I don't come back?" Her voice cracked from overuse. All the screaming, probably.

"Honestly, I don't know that being here would be better than being on your own at eight," I said, voice dull.

"What is this place? Is —is it —" She couldn't finish, but I saw the stark fear in her eyes.

"It's not prostitution, if that's what you think." My mouth twisted. "Well. Not that kind of prostitution." That didn't help the confusion in her face. "Okay. Here's the deal. Vivian and Andre have this gig where they train baby vampires how to… drink blood without ripping people to shreds. Basically." I shrugged the sweater off my shoulders and pointed out my bandaged shoulders, unwrapping one so she could see the teeth marks. Then I pointed to the old scars inside my elbows, wrists, and in my collarbone. "So. The point is to _not_ kill us. If that's any comfort. But no one in their right minds would be cool with this, so. Kidnapping."

"But he said…." she gulped. "He said they were short a girl. So they needed me. What happened to the other girl?"

"Actually, there were two girls here before me," I said, feeling it was better to get the whole truth out in the open, like ripping off a Band-Aid. "One died from blood loss. Her name was Allison. The other one, Rachel, she got on Andre's bad side. She died, too. That's rule number one. Don't piss off Andre." I laughed, a dead sound. "Obviously this is a case of do as I say and not as I do." I gestured to my face.

I gazed around the room. "They'll probably bring a cot for you or something when they let Bree back in. You can take a shower, get comfortable. Our clothes will probably fit you. You want something to eat?"

"Let me hear the rest," she rasped. "Please." Her brown eyes were scared but firm. "If I just hear all of it, then, then I can —process. Figure this out."

She was stronger than I thought. "Okay. Rule two. Don't use nicknames around Andre. I'm Marissa and Bree's Brianne. Otherwise, it's Riss and Bree. Is Star your real name?"

She hesitated, but then set her jaw. "It is now."

"Okay, he might decide to change it if it's not sophisticated enough for him." I smirked. "So you have that to look forward to. See rule number one: don't piss off Andre. Um. Have you given blood before?"

She shook her head.

"Right, you said you're sixteen. Okay. It's… not that scary. Do you faint —"

She shook her head definitely. "I pierced my own ears, and four other girls' at the home."

"Good. So you always want to have a soda or something sugary on hand, as well as some crackers. Be comfortable. And the way it works is, they have this bargaining system to make us grateful or some shit like that."

"Bargain?" she said, her eyes lighting up.

"A big bargain from Andre and Vivian, and smaller stuff from the clients. Bree asks for tokens like jewelry, pins, scarves, and stuff like that. I ask for things I can tell they don't want to give up. Or favors. Once I asked this vampire who said he had a photographic memory to retell his favorite story. It took two hours," I said, remembering. I let a satisfied smile slip over my lips. "It was actually a good story."

"Do you think I could ask for Laddie?" she asked breathlessly. "Do you think they would bring him to me?"

Unease rippled through me. "I wouldn't ask Andre or Vivian. That's a big request, and a bigger hold over you. A stranglehold." I thought for a minute. "You could ask the boys to look out for him. I'm sure that's something they could do."

"Boys?"

"Yes," I sighed. "That's one thing I can tell you —who you'll see tomorrow. We just got here, so we'll be with these guys for a few weeks. It's these guys who look like a biker gang, very punk."

"Four guys?" she said suddenly.

I blinked. "Yes."

"Three blonds and a brunette?"

I nodded.

"I've seen them on the boardwalk before. Kind of tough, troublemakers? They bought Laddie a cotton candy last week," Star whispered, hope lighting in her eyes.

"Good," I said, though faintly surprised. Four vampires who just felt like buying a human kid cotton candy? "Ask them, then. They'd know who to look for, anyway."

She smiled and looked like she was about to cry again.

"Go shower," I said, waving her towards the bathroom. "You can use my towel, it's blue. And there's a lock on the door if you need to feel safe. Just let us in if we have to pee."

"Thank you," Star said, smiling tremulously.

 _Oh, girl,_ I thought, as she disappeared into the bathroom, _Don't thank me._

* * *

 _The next night_

Something felt off the second David set eyes on Andre. The air of smugness was thicker around him than usual tonight, but he couldn't put his finger on what was wrong until the pack stepped into the living room, and a stranger sat where Riss should be.

He stopped dead, staring at the girl who, while familiar, wasn't Riss.

Bree passed him on her way to her sofa, darting glances towards where Max chatted with Vivian and Andre. "Hey, guys," she whispered. "Be nice, okay? She's really scared."

"Where's Riss?" David asked. But Andre was too close; Bree could only glance at a closed door at the far end of the room.

David and Dwayne exchanged glances and headed towards the new girl. He remembered where he had seen her before —on the boardwalk, going through a trashcan. He smiled, turning on charm. "Hi, I'm David. This is Dwayne."

"Hi," she breathed, knees drawn up to her chest.

"What's your name?" David said, perching on the arm of the loveseat as Dwayne squatted down in front of her.

"Star." She bit her lip.

"Where's Riss, Star?" David asked quietly.

"In the basement." She rubbed her palms on her skirt. "Her face is still swollen."

David stilled. Something had happened last night after he had left. And it was that bastard Andre's fault.

Something in his face scared her, and she shrank back.

"Hey," Dwayne said in his warm voice. "It's okay. Riss is just his girl, that's all."

She turned her big brown eyes on him. "Is —do we bargain? Is this how this works?"

He nodded.

"Can you find my brother?" she begged. "He's all alone, and I don't know what's going to happen to him. His name's Laddie."

"The little kid who was with you?" Dwayne asked, looking over his shoulder at Andre.

She nodded rapidly. "He said he'd kill Laddie."

Dwayne's face darkened like a thundercloud, and he and David shared understanding looks. Dwayne couldn't stand anyone who even looked at a kid wrong.

David stood and sidled over to Paul and Marko, who were chatting with Bree. "We're going to need you two to cause a little scene," he said quietly.

"Oh, yeah, we can do that," Paul assured him. "Sorry, Bree."

She smiled bravely. "You don't have to sink your teeth in. If you just growl a lot, I can do the rest."

"Good girl," David said, flashing her an appreciative smile. "When the time comes to switch."

Andre and Max walked into the room, and Andre clapped his hands. "Is everyone ready? Good."

 _Oh, I'm ready,_ David thought darkly.

* * *

They let me out of the bedroom while visitors were around, though they still locked the basement door. But it was enough. I sat on the sagging couch in the mostly empty den and flipped through a weathered book of poetry that Bree got off someone last month, an ice pack pressed to my face. It was a fang-free night; I tried to shut out the noises from upstairs.

However, the creak of the steps pulled me out of my temporary zone-out. "Is it too much to ask for you to leave me the hell alone?" I mumbled, turning the page.

"Sure about that?"

I froze in place, afraid to be wrong. Cool gloved fingers gently turned my face toward his.

He took in my puffy eye, the discolored skin and the scrapes on my cheekbone. "What happened, Riss?" David asked quietly.

"I hit a wall."

" _How_?" he said deliberately, steel in his blue eyes.

"How do you think?" I swallowed. "I guess I played a little too fast and loose with Andre's fragile sense of self. What are you doing down here, anyway?"

"I came looking for you," David said, and sat down beside me on the couch, still holding my chin in his hand.

"Oh, Andre will be so disappointed," I said, trying to smile. "I think he was hoping you'd taking a liking to Star."

"And forget you?" David said, smirking. He leaned forward and gently brushed my lips with his. I sighed against his mouth. I could feel the tangle of thread wrapping around my heart, tightening its hold, but right now I didn't care.

"What are you reading," David said, pulling me against him.

I pulled my legs onto the couch and showed him the book.

" _Best Loved Poems of All Ti_ me," he read. "Well, are they?"

I shrugged. "Bree got it off some intellectual type about a month ago."

"'If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain: if I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain,'" he read. "Sounds sappy."

"Who's that by?" I asked.

"Emily Dickinson."

"Mmm."

He flipped a few pages. "'Tiger! Tiger! burning bright, in the forests of the night: what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?'"

I hummed and leaned over his shoulder. "I like that one."

He kept reading. " 'In what distant deeps or skies burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand, dare seize the fire?

" 'And what shoulder, & what art, could twist the sinews of thy heart? And when thy heart began to beat, what dread hand? & what dread feet?

" 'What the hammer? what the chain, in what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? what dread grasp, dare its deadly terrors clasp!' "

He paused, and I continued in a soft voice, " 'When the stars threw down their spears and water'd heaven with their tears: did he smile his work to see? Did he who made the Lamb make thee?' "

I looked up and met his eyes for a long moment.

Then the hullabaloo started.

"Yo, David! Where you at, man?" someone, possibly Paul, hollered helpfully.

I started to shift away from him, but the arm around my shoulder stiffened, holding me in place. "We're going to sort this out," he murmured in my ear.

"Don't be stupid," I told him.

"I'm never stupid, Riss." He smirked. "You worried about me?"

"I'm not even going to answer that," I said haughtily, because I was worried. "Keep reading."

When the whole procession came down the stairs, David was peaceably reading "Sea Fever" by John Masefield. Dwayne and Paul rounded the couch, and Paul whistled. "Whoa, Riss, what happened…." he asked, reaching for my face.

David looked up from the poem and growled.

As Paul backed up hastily, I thumped David's leg. "Stop that, it's just Paul," I said tiredly.

Star hovered by Dwayne, but it sounded like Marco was "being helpful" by swinging Bree down every couple of steps, effectively blocking the way. The adults hadn't managed to shove past them yet.

I could tell when they finally emerged —Star shrank back from a visage she obviously thought terrifying, and Dwayne glared and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. Star looked up at him, eyes sparkling like the self-named heavenly spheres.

 _Huh_ , I thought, before Andre rounded the couch, eyes bulging and fangs bared. I buried my face in David's shoulder, courage spent.

"Get out," Andre growled.

I braced myself for the oncoming alpha fight where, presumably, I'd get torn apart. But David just raised an eyebrow with a cool air of nonchalance. "Why?"

"You aren't supposed to be down here, David," his sire said warningly. "It's very rude."

"I'm keeping Riss company," David said, exuding as much innocence as a vampire could. "Isn't that what _gentlemen_ are supposed to do?" His voice took on a bright sheen, like steel.

"It's passé," I mumbled into his shoulder.

"How _did_ you hit that wall?" David asked me pointedly.

With Andre's hot eyes on me, I muttered, "Probably wasn't thinking."

Which was true. I hadn't been thinking about consequences —a mistake. Sometimes I forgot that, while valuable for a time, we were ultimately expendable.

"How kind of you, David," Vivian said, slinking around to wind her arm around Andre —to hold him back? To warn him? "I'm so happy you want to spend time with our girls. But it _is_ our house, and there are rules you have to follow if you want to see Riss."

She arched one perfectly plucked and drawn brow, and unfortunately, she had been doing it for much longer than David. I was too busy reeling from the fact that she called me _Riss._ What did this mean?

"This night was for Riss to _rest,_ after her accident. Now I must ask you boys to go back upstairs." The eyebrow waited for compliance.

It was a long stare down, but finally David handed the book back to me, whispering "See you soon" in my ear. Then he kissed my wounded eyebrow. His lips felt a lot better than the ice pack.

"Will do," I said biting back the incredibly sarcastic and slightly bitter, _have fun_.

Everyone filed back upstairs, propelled by Vivian's sharp looks. I returned the waves the boys gave me, and then Vivian looked my way. Her gaze nailed me to the wall.

When we were alone, she said conversationally, "I can see that boy is going to be trouble."

I shrugged, picking up the ice pack. "There wasn't any trouble until Andre went ballistic with his perv notions —"

I stuttered to a halt at the look on her face.

"You will keep a civil tongue in your head."

I figured now would be a great time to restrict all those smart aleck comments like _where else am I supposed to keep it?_ to myself. "You know he does it," I said in a low voice. "You can't pretend this is anything other than what Andre makes it into."

"So the issue is learning to share, is it?" Vivian said, cocking her head to the side.

I stayed silent, feeling the knives in the words.

"Well." She drummed her fingers against her arm, pacing. "You might be right, Riss. It is a failing among boys that they do not know how to share. It has to be drilled into them."

I tried to covertly pick my jaw up after she called me 'Riss' again.

"Don't worry." She flashed a smile. "I won't tell Andre it was your idea."

 _What was my idea?_ I thought frantically.

"After all, teenage boys, full of hormones and restless energy, are not the most courteous of creatures, respecting territory, that sort of thing."

My stomach twisted. What did she mean?

She turned and ascended the stairs. "Get some rest, Riss." _You'll need it_ hung heavily in the air.

I clenched the book of poetry with numb hands. The knot in my gut and the ominous feel in the air would not disappear.

* * *

"You okay?" I asked when Bree and Star crept back into the bedroom at the end of the night.

Bree sat Star down on her cot piled high with blankets. "She's fine, just a little dizzy from all the blood loss." Bree looked at me and smiled. "Guess what I bargained for."

"What?" I said, handing Star a bag of cookies I had been munching on.

"A carnival night, with the guys," Bree said, proud. "For _all_ of us. I had three, so I made it a group bargain."

"And Andre _went_ for that?" I asked, incredulous.

"He wasn't happy, but Vivian put a hand on his arm and gave him a look. Y'know, sometimes I get the feeling that Vivian is more in charge than Andre." She shrugged and scratched at the bandages on her arms, heading to the bathroom.

The rest of what she said registered, and I hurried after her before she shut the door. "You had _three_?" I demanded.

Bree looked up from the sink. "Yeah… David said, since Star was new, she shouldn't get too freaked out."

" _David_ said that?"

Bree took a closer look at my face. "Yeah, Riss. And —hey, he barely took anything." She gestured to her arm. "I don't think he wanted to drink at all, but his sire was standing over him." She leaned against the sink. "He must really like you."

I couldn't make those words into any meaning I understood, so I ignored them. "So why is Star so tired?" I said suspiciously.

Bree flushed. "I think —you know she asked Dwayne to find her brother? I think she didn't try to make him stop because of the bargain. And he was pretty into her."

"We are going to have to teach that girl self-preservation," I sighed. "No matter what you ask for, kick the vampire off when you start seeing spots. So they're really going to find her brother for her?"

"I guess," Bree said, washing off dried blood and applying Neosporin under the bandages. "Dwayne said they'd bring him when we go to the boardwalk."

"When's that?" I peered into the mirror and prodded my bruises.

"Three days." Bree was trying and failing to screw the cap back on one-handed.

I absently took it and did it.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I stared at the purple and yellow bruises and sighed. Three days time.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The days dragged as we "rested." Star plowed through our meager supply of books that Bree and I had practically memorized. Bree slept —she could sleep for days if you let her, with occasional periods of bleary awareness where she ate or peed.

Mostly I tried to climb the walls. Barring that, I drew on them. Tiny, intricate geometric designs started in the corner by the bed and spread, morphing into flowers, animals, and nature, anything I could think of. I hid our names in a repeated pattern —Riss, Bree, Star —over and over again to make the point that we had been here, we were still here, and something of us would remain, even after we were gone.

The only thing I had to draw with was a pen, which would stop writing after a minute or two because it didn't like being horizontal, and sometimes threw a fit about drawing on paint. But it gave me time to think, and I was more stubborn than a pen.

Bree always claimed my designs were Art, capital A —I left them everywhere we went. I doubted that. But it was something that was mine.

I had covered a good third of the east wall by the time our three days were up. We were all incredibly ready to see something besides our room, but we did need the rest. Our aches and pains had started to build, and it would only get worse as Andre and Vivian pushed their "students" on boundaries and limits. We started getting vitamins and iron pills with our meals. Luckily, our bites so far had just been punctures and not wounds.

There was a spot on my right calf where someone had taken a chunk out of my leg before I hit him on the head with a cast iron pug dog. It had healed badly with a lot of scar tissue. Every time your body had to recover from that, it lowered your immune system, leaving you open to infection and disease. And who knew what diseases blood-sucking vampires had?

"It's finally cool," Bree said, pulling a soft sweater over her head to wear with a black skirt. "A week into December, and it's finally cool."

I stuck with jeans and a leather jacket, while Star borrowed a scarf and long sleeved shirt from Bree. "It's been cool at night for a while," I pointed out.

"I mean overall," she said. "Who wants the boots?"

We didn't have many shoe options, mostly because we never went anywhere. Thank goodness we were all about the same size. "You can have them," I said. "I'll take the flats. I'll probably take them off, anyway."

Star took the pair of thong sandals. "Do you think they found him?" she kept asking. "Do you think Laddie's all right?"

"We'll find out," I said, gently propelling her into the bathroom. "Your hair is a bush, do something with it."

As Star reached for the brush, Bree shot me a look. "Bossy much?"

"She needs to get her mind off Laddie for a few minutes." I shoved my hands into my pockets. "And it does look like a bush."

"You look like a car crash," Bree said, indicating my fading bruises.

"I prefer 'modern art,'" I said, mouth twisting.

Far off, we heard the roar of motorcycles getting closer. "Here we go," Bree said, shoving her feet into the boots.

* * *

"Laddie!" Star exclaimed, launching herself off the porch before Vivian had finished giving us 'the talk.' She ran to Dwayne's bike where a small head peered over his shoulder. The figure threw himself at Star, and they went down in a heap. My heart wrenched.

 _I did this,_ I thought. _Mea culpa._

"I expect you back by the time the boardwalk closes," Vivian finished, with a sharp look at the two of us. "Don't disappoint me, girls."

"Yes, Vivian," Bree said, since it was her request.

She gave a cold nod and stepped back inside the house. I wasn't sure where Andre was, but honestly couldn't have given more of a damn.

Bree went forward to her blond worshippers with a happy smile, and I sauntered down the steps to stop in front of David's bike, pointedly not looking at him.

"Your face looks a little better," he said, smirking.

"Thank you so much," I said dryly. "For that oh-so-kind complement, good sir. Your courtesy knows no bounds. You could charm heaven itself."

The smirk got bigger. "Get on the bike, Riss."

I swung on behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Hold on," he said, gunning the engine.

"I do," I whispered. "Always."

* * *

The boardwalk was full of teenagers trying to get into bars with mixed success, little children being herded away from midway games, stores with bright lights playing rock music in an attempt to lure in the youth, and people. Scores and scores of people.

"Can we ride the carousel?" Bree begged, pointing towards the source of the oom-pah-pahs. It was a big ride, with many other animals besides the traditional horse.

"Wahoo, let's do it!" Marco exclaimed, pulling her along.

"Last one on has to ride an ass!" Paul yelled. Parents with children turned to glare at him.

"I don't think he meant that to be as bad as it sounded," I mused.

David slung an arm around my shoulders. "It's Paul. We'll never know."

Star and Dwayne, swinging Laddie between them, brought up the rear. From what I could tell, Laddie seemed like a normal eight-year-old boy, just slightly grubbier, not too particularly traumatized by his lot in life, thank God. Just quiet, unless he was talking to his sister.

We inserted ourselves into the line and got tickets, heading onto the big disc full of mechanical horses. I got on a white horse with bared teeth and an evil look in its eye, while Laddie and Star picked a dappled horse and a bear beside each other. Bree grabbed a unicorn with flowers in its mane. The boys declined to ride, instead walking around the horses and people while the ride was moving and generally making a nuisance of themselves. I couldn't bring myself to care. It was just too funny to see them dart in and out of the bobbing horses.

When the ride began to slow, David reappeared at my side and held out a gloved hand. "All this chivalry may go to my head," I said, grabbing his hand as I dismounted.

He pulled me close and said, "That's the plan," before kissing me.

 _There's a plan?_ I thought, leaning into him. When I broke the kiss, I whispered, "Well, at least you're thinking ahead." I patted his chest and turned away, tugging at his hand to get him to follow.

As we filed off the ride, a security guard held out his baton and stopped Marco and Bree, who happened to be at the front of our group. "I don't want to see you making trouble on these rides," he said warningly, "or I'll kick you off the Boardwalk. Understand?"

Slightly predatory smiles started to spread across the boys' faces. "Sure," David drawled.

The guard pointed his baton at us. "And don't give me any attitude, either."

The grin got more menacing.

"Don't," I said, poking him. "You've gotta win me a cheap stuffed animal."

"That's what you want?" he asked, surprised, as the guard walked away to accost another group of teens a little ways away. "A stuffed animal?"

I shrugged. "What else is there?"

"Let's see," David said. "Meet you by the video store around midnight," he said, raising his voice to the guys. I waved at Bree and Star, and swung my hand in his. Someone somewhere was playing a guitar, probably in some bar with live music. It had a definite Southern air to it, and I swayed along to the twang.

"You like this sort of music?"

I treated him to a derisive smirk. "You don't?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, y'all probably only like death metal and screechy stuff like that," I said, flicking his earring. "But I'm a Texas girl. We like to understand what the song is saying."

"Texas?" David asked. His look reevaluated me.

"Sure." I didn't elaborate, just pointed to a balloon dart throw game. "Let's do that."

"It's rigged."

"So?" I said, lifting my chin. "Scared I'll beat you?"

I walked away from the game with a poorly made rabbit and a smirk. "Ha, rigged my ass." I stared at the purple and white rabbit. "What should I name this thing?"

David inspected it, and then made a face. "Bunny."

I made a face. "How did you ever get elected leader of your pack?"

He pulled me close. "Who said I was elected?"

I smiled up at him and licked my lips. "You mean you didn't get the majority vote? Ohh, David…."

He grinned fiercely. "They eventually came around to my point of view."

I nodded. "Prime negotiation skills. I like that in a man." Then I wriggled out of his grasp, laughing because I knew he was letting me. "Okay. My turn. What prize do you want?"

We went on like that for a while, playing different games and collecting different cheap prizes before stopping for the human to get a bite to eat.

I ended up with three stuffed animals, two of which I gave away to kids who looked like their parents hadn't let them play any games, several bangle bracelets, which weren't my thing but Bree and Star would like them, and a plastic necklace in the shape of a bear that held maybe an ounce of bubbles. It now hung around my neck on a nylon string.

The only prize I had won for David that he had deigned to keep was a lapel pin in the shape of an armadillo. "That's Texas, right?" he had said.

"Mostly I saw them dead on the side of the road, but yeah, that's Texas," I laughed as we passed popcorn stands, ear piercing booths, and a couple shady looking tattoo parlors.

A streak of yellow shot across the boardwalk and disappeared under a food stall. The owner swore and kicked. A yellow cat with a bent tail rocketed out of there and down an alley mouth.

I shoved the rabbit and the corn dog I had been working on into David's hands. "Hold this. Kitty!" I called, walking after the cat. "Kitty kitty!"

"I should have known you'd like cats," he drawled behind me.

"I put up with you, don't I?" I shot back. "C'mere, baby, don't listen to David, the sourpuss."

I crouched down by the trashcan where the cat crouched, wary. It looked reasonably well fed —probably on all the stuff that spilled out of trashcans when no one emptied them in a timely manner —but one ear was nearly gone, and it definitely had an unkempt look about it. "Who's a pretty girl," I cooed. "Hi —'scuse me, pretty boy," I said, as the cat stepped forward and I got a better look. He sniffed my fingers and meowed, breathing fetid breath.

I reached behind me without looking. "Hand me that corn dog, huh?"

David passed it wordlessly, and I broke off the meat from the breading and stick and crumbled it for the cat. He purred madly and rubbed against my jeans as I tried to get the pieces small enough. "Hold your horses," I said, sitting on the ground and dropping the small chunks.

The cat gobbled them down, purring like a small malfunctioning coffee grinder. Then it plopped in my lap and glared at David, still purring.

I looked up at him and smiled. "Sorry, this is my new boy toy. You've been replaced." I scratched the cat behind the ears.

"I got you that necklace, and this rabbit," David said, shaking the stuffed animal. "He's a freeloader."

"But he's so _cuuuute_ ," I cooed, picking the cat up and standing. It spat at David when I tried to walk closer to him.

"Animals don't like us," he said, his mouth twisting.

"They have good sense." I cuddled the cat, which tried to dig its claws into my leather jacket. It licked my fingers, and then tried to gnaw on them.

"Hey, pal," I said, shifting the cat so it was over my shoulder, "I get a little too much of that already." The cat purred in my ear.

"It probably has fleas," David pointed out. "Or diseases."

"Oh, another thing you two have in common!" I exclaimed, smiling.

The cat squirmed and meowed, wanting down now. It probably wasn't lap cat material, based on where it was and how it had gotten there. I let it ooze to the floor and sniff around for any last corn dog particles before it sauntered away down the alley.

"Adios, kitty," I said, wiping my hands on my jeans.

"See, he left you all alone, and I'm still here." David handed back the rabbit.

"Mmm, true. And he didn't even give me a good-bye kiss," I sighed.

"How 'bout I give you a hello kiss instead?"

"That'd be nice," I said, turning my face up. His facial hair tickled, and I ran my hand along his jaw line and into his hair as his lips caressed mine. His hands gripped my waist and pushed gradually until my back found the alley wall. I closed my eyes and sighed. He pressed open-mouthed kisses on my lips, my chin, my jaw… my neck.

The reaction was instinctual. I stiffened and sucked in a hard breath, pushing back against his chest. Not that I could move him any. But he pulled back and looked at my face, gaze closing off once he saw the frozen look on my face.

"Riss?" he said quietly.

I willed my heart to stop hammering in my chest. "Yeah," I said, not meeting his eyes.

"You okay?"

 _What do I say to that?_ I thought wildly. _Of course not, I've had too many near death experiences like that?_ But I wasn't okay, and he knew it. I just shook my head, staring at nothing.

"Sorry."

My head snapped around to his, anger warring with incredulity. Incredulity won, because… he meant it. I could see it on his face. He looked awkward, a little embarrassed… but genuinely hadn't thought about it, what it would mean beyond a make out session.

I let out a shaky breath and leaned forward to rest my head on his shoulder. "Damn it," I said without heat.

He ran a hand over my hair, not unlike how I had petted the cat.

"Well, you got one thing going for you," I mumbled. "You smell better than the cat."

I felt him chuckle, the nearly silent sound nevertheless shaking his chest. He kissed my temple. "Want another necklace?"

"No, I want another corn dog," I said, lifting my head. "I gave half of mine to the cat!"

He grinned. "No refunds on the corn dogs."

"Fine, a slurpy or something."

"What flavor?"

"Grape!" I said, taking his hand.

"Nope, can't do it. We only support cherry and blue raspberry slurpies."

"David!" I complained. We walked out of the alley and back into the sea of people.

* * *

We met back up with the rest of the group by the video store, which we did not enter. But I could see Max through the windows behind the counter.

"Your sire," I whispered to David, "owns a _video store_?"

He makes a disgusted face. "It's awful, isn't it."

"I mean," I said, looking over my shoulder, "great cover. _Never_ would suspect it. But…."

All the guys nodded, resigned. "Not cool at all," Paul said.

Bree held a huge stuffed horse, and Star and Laddie both munched on pink cotton candy.

"We've got time for maybe one or two more things," David announced, noting the lights flicking off on certain stores and rides.

"Ferris wheel!" Bree exclaimed. "We haven't done the Ferris wheel!" And since it was Bree's bargain, we ended up on the Ferris wheel.

"Don't rock this car," I warned David as the ride attendant lowered the bar and locked it.

"Or what?" He said, looking very interested.

"I'll smack you." The wheel turned to fill the next car.

"Not a heights person, hmm?"

"I'm okay if it's not rocking. _Don't_ ," I said warningly, as he leaned forward.

But it was only to check how high the Ferris wheel was. "Guess you wouldn't like flying much, then," he said, leaning back.

"Planes are fine. You don't feel it, really."

"No, I meant — _flying._ " He gestured to himself.

I gave him the blankest stare. "Huh?"

He cocked his head to the side as a smile began to bloom. "You didn't know that?"

"Know _what_?"

"We can fly." His grin got bigger as my jaw sagged lower and lower.

"But Vivian and Andre don't fly!" I protested as we rotated our way upward. "Are you saying you turn into a bat and —"

He laughed. "No. Just fly."

"Just fly," I mimicked. "Oh. Okay. Well, that's fine then. What the heck." I was absurdly annoyed that there was a piece of vampire trivia I didn't know after coming into frequent and repeated contact with them for nearly a year.

As David quietly chuckled in my ear, I heard Bree's voice rise above the clamor and hubbub of the Boardwalk, crooning Nina Simone's version of "I Put A Spell on You." She was a good singer, a great one, actually —but didn't sing much, given our circumstances. Maybe one of the boys had asked her to.

I hummed along, staring up at the stars on this remarkably clear night.

"Is that what you did," David whispered in my ear. "Did you put a spell on us?"

"I kind of think it was the other way around," I admitted.

His lips closed over mine softly, as if I was spun sugar and would melt at the lightest touch. I sighed against his lips and kissed him back, then at the corner at his mouth. He stilled, but it was to wait and see what I'd do. I kissed down his jawline, feeling the hair on my lips, and then kissed the underside of his jaw, right where it hinged by his ear. "See, it's okay when _I_ do it," I whispered.

"Fair enough," he whispered, before capturing me with a kiss that was… not quite so gentle.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you SO MUCH to my lovely reviewers —I honestly thought I had updated, and I had not. So here is chapter six!**

 **And just so you know —the rough draft of this story is complete. I'm just editing as I post, so If you review and follow and badger me for updates, I will get myself in gear and post! A little incentive I guess :) Thanks again, and enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

No one threw a fit when we came back (on time, may I add). Vivian smiled at the boys and said we'd see them in a few days. And then we went to bed. We all thought that the night had gone well.

But we were wrong.

"Time to get up," Vivian said, walking into our room without knocking. "Get dressed."

Bree, just out of the shower and wearing a towel, threw herself back into the bathroom, and Star and I sat up straight, staring at Vivian. A shiver ran down my spine.

"Why?" I asked. "The guys aren't coming for —"

"We've taken on new clients, in addition to Max's sons," Vivian said, smoothly cutting me off. "They'll be here in an hour. I expect you girls to be ready and waiting." She patted her hair and turned towards me with a smile of a snake.

I tasted bile. _Sharing…. so that's what she meant._

"And I expect you girls to behave," she continued. "Or… more drastic measures will be taken." Her eyes glittered.

I had never given Vivian the kind of wary thought I had given Andre —he always struck me as a ticking time bomb, dangerous yes, but you could see the seconds tick down before the boom. But Vivian… she was a snake, coiled and waiting in the shadows, but ready to strike.

I pressed my lips together and nodded jerkily. I didn't trust myself to open my mouth, for fear of what might come spilling out.

Vivian shut the door with a quiet click, and the bathroom door creaked open. Bree stared at me. "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?" she asked. Her dark skin was ashy now.

"Yup," I muttered through numb lips.

Star looked back and forth at us. "What? What's the matter, besides the obvious?"

"Vampires get… territorial," I said, trying to make my arms and legs go through the motions of getting dressed. "Pissing contests between packs of vampires never end well. The one time we tried to teach a group of vamps to 'share'" —even the word made me break out into a cold sweat now — "Allison died. And it still didn't work. Not really. The one pack killed half the others and drove them out of the area."

Star blanched and drew her knees up to her chest. "Do you think they're trying to do that to David's pack?"

"Andre is petty enough. But I would've thought they'd want to be able to spend good money, too. Bloodbaths aren't profitable."

Bree plopped down after getting her underwear on and pulled a shirt over her head. "They're trying to scare us," she whispered.

We looked at her. "How do you figure?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Before —we were scared of Andre, we were scared of the clients —you only acted out because of anger. It was never like a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, that you were mouthy. But the guys actually _like_ us." She shrugged. "Maybe because we're still more or less the same age? I _think_ , anyway. They haven't gone full-vampire, leaving all humanity behind, whatever. But we've never had excursions with other vampires before. You definitely didn't make bonds with any of them." She shot me a pointed look.

"It's —that's not what —" I tried to say.

"C'mon, Riss," Bree said tiredly. "You care about him. At least a little. And I think he cares about you, and God knows that's not a bad thing —having somebody care about you is nice, after all this," she whispered. "I mean, I like Marco and Paul; they're funny, and Dwayne seems great with kids. At least trustworthy in that respect, you know?" She shrugged, pulling off her shower cap and shaking out her curls. "We've never had that. And I think Vivian and Andre are afraid they're losing their hold over us."

"So they're scaring us back into submission," I growled, burying my face in my hands. "God. Why."

The petition hung in the air, and none of us could stare at it for long, not even Bree.

"Well, it can't get worse than this," Star said, trying to be positive.

But it turned out it could. It was really fucking worse.

When we were upstairs and waiting, Vivian opened the front door. "Come in, gentlemen," she trilled. "Come right in. We were expecting you."

She strolled into the room, followed by three men —and I nearly shot off my couch at the sight of them. "You!" was all I could yell, clenching my hands into fists.

The tallest one, dark haired in slacks and a button up shirt, looking for all the world like a fit young man that just stepped away from a business meeting, smiled at me with thin lips and bright white teeth. "Marissa darling. It's been so long."

My stomach tried to eject the breakfast I had eaten, but I dug my nails into my palms. _Blaine._ This was the vampire that had taken the chunk out of my leg —this was the bloodsucker who had drained Allison dry, and laughed about it.

I jumped up from the couch and took an automatic step away. "Get away from me, you fucking leach!" I screeched in a voice I barely recognized as my own. "You killed Allison, you son of a bi —"

Vivian's hands came down on my shoulders and squeezed, forcing me back down onto the cushions. Tears sprang to my eyes at the pain.

Star had gone dead white, and Bree was biting her lip as if she wanted to cry. The other two men, Eric and Rafael, Blaine's two cronies, stared at them like starving men stared at a five-course meal. Where had they come from? Their territory was Oregon, around the Portland area.

"You will remember, Marissa," Vivian whispered in my ear, "that I instructed you to _behave."_

She had done this. She had called them to come cause trouble in Santa Carla and to get us back in line. She had _lied_. "You can go die in hell," I forced through clenched teeth. "You _liar_ , you said you'd never go back to these assholes, you said —"

"This is your only warning, Marissa," her voice hissed.

"I don't care! Kill me, I don't care!" I screamed. "I'd rather die before that disgusting murderer touched me again —" I broke off as I made a high note of pain. Vivian's fingernails had dug into my arms.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Blaine smiled nastily and grabbed my right arm, pulling it towards him even as I tried to fight with my feeble human strength. "But I'm sure we will do what it takes to oblige you." His face changed then, becoming harder and bonier, eyes dilating and fangs elongating into a fearful form. I had two seconds for my heart to thump and wonder, _God, is this it? I promised Lisa —_ before he sunk into my wrist with enough force to make the bones grind together.

* * *

We were not okay. We huddled in a group on the bed, licking our wounds and generally feeling sorry for ourselves. Star was crying. Rafael, who was a neck man, had bitten her for the first time on her neck. It wasn't a pleasant experience. It was just something about 'going for the jugular' that, coupled with the enduring vampire mythos in the psyche, managed to induce more panic and fear than any other place that you could get bit.

Bree clutched her elbow and held pressure on the vein there. The blood flow had stopped, but still she pressed, a haunted expression on her face. My wrist felt like it was on fire, and every time I tried to move my fingers, the pain flared. My shoulders ached, too, but it was a dull ache.

"I forgot," Bree said, in a small voice. "I forgot what it was like. That there are some vampires you can't pacify by acting nice." The inside of her arm was going to look like raw hamburger for some time. "I can't believe I forgot," she whispered. "Oh, God. And there wasn't even a bargain." The last bit of illusion that we had any control over this situation had been stripped away.

Tears pricked in the corner of my eyes. "I said I'd never let him touch me again." I cradled my wrist. I didn't have the luxury of scrubbing it raw, the way I wanted to. I shuddered. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have —"

"No, it's mine," Bree whispered, "I shouldn't have asked for that outing."

"But I'm the one that always needles them," I insisted. "I'm the one who doesn't think about consequences. I —" I choked on my words as the key turned in the lock.

Vivian walked in, holding a try of medicine, a jug of water, cups, creams, and bandages. She set the tray down on the tiny nightstand and began pouring water cups. "Now I hope we all learned some important lessons tonight," she said in a calm, quiet voice. She handed around medicine cups full of pills and glasses of water. We swallowed them without comment. "Lessons like this are hard, I know. But they're necessary." She passed around the cream.

I rubbed it over the teeth marks in my wrist and tried to wind the gauze around, one handed. She gently but purposefully took it out of my hand and did it, her cool skin raising goose bumps on my arms. I bit my lip because it trembled, and fought my instincts to violently pull away or throw myself at her.

"There," she said, taping the bandage. "Star, come here."

Shaking, Star scooted across the bed.

Vivian carefully brushed away Star's hair from her neck. "The pills will help with the pain," she went on quietly, dabbing the wound with cream. "Dry your eyes, dear. You did well this evening. I'm very proud of you."

Star made a garbled noise and then bit down on her other hand, to stop the sound. My teeth ground together.

Vivian taped down a gauze pad with medical tape. "Bree, do you need Coban tape?"

Bree licked her lips. "Yes."

Vivian produced the self-adhering tape and wound it around the gauze already pressed to Bree's arm. "Tomorrow we'll start on the cream."

Bree's head jerked in what might have been a nod.

"Have you girls learned something from tonight?" Vivian asked.

None of us said anything.

"Look at me when I speak to you, please."

I lifted my head, desperately holding in all the terrible, awful things I wanted to shout. True things.

Vivian studied my face, watching my clenched jaw and the shiny hatred in my eyes. Her lips thinned. "Well, I'm glad there's been improvement. But in order for this to continue, I had to make some arrangements. I'm sorry to have to do this, but I suspect that it's the only way to ensure your further compliance." She stepped out of the room and shut the door, but didn't lock it. Her muffled voice said, "Wake her up."

We all stared at each other. _What did she mean?_

Within a few seconds, we heard terrified screams, and the door was flung open to admit Andre carrying a small, kicking, fighting figure. He tossed her at me, the person closest to the door, and I caught her on reflex as horror set in.

"Rissa!" my little sister screamed.

"Lisa," I whispered. My stomach rolled, and acid filled my mouth as my little sister wrapped her arms around my waist and hung on with every bit on strength in her body.

"Motivation," Vivian whispered, "for your continued compliance." She shut the door and locked it with a click.

My gorge rose. Thank goodness Bree saw my face change, because she grabbed the trashcan just in time and held it as I threw up everything in my stomach.

 _Mea culpa_ , I thought, wiping my face as my sister sobbed into my stomach. _Mea culpa._

* * *

It was a long day. We were all in pain, and I was about three inches from falling apart, and Bree and Star knew it. All we had managed to get out of Lisa was that she had been stolen from her bed by a monster and woke up here. Then she stopped talking. Which was insane, because my little sister could out-talk anyone.

God only knows what she had seen, or what had happened on the trip here. And I didn't know what had happened to my mother. Was she still alive? Or had Andre killed her when he took Lisa?

Lisa didn't know. Apparently, through a drug or some other vampire hooey, she had slept for the trip from Texas to California. We all suspected that's why Andre had been absent; he had gone to get her as "insurance" against their new "sharing" initiative.

Now she lay in between Bree and me, super glued to my side and clutching the stuffed rabbit from the carnival as she slept fitfully. I stroked her hair and whispered, "It's okay, Lisa, I'm here. You're all right. Shhh, shh."

I stared at her face in the dim light from the setting sun. She looked older, and was definitely a few inches taller, hair bobbed in brown waves around her face. Time was passing in the world, even though it felt like we had fallen down some wormhole into limbo. My little sister had gotten so big.

She shook her head in sleep and twitched, waking up with wide eyes and a gasp.

"Lisa," I said. "Hey, I'm here."

She burrowed into my side and shook silently. I hugged her close. "I'm right here, it's okay," I whispered, even though it wasn't true. "You're okay."

"I thought I was going to die," she mumbled in a barely audible voice.

I rubbed her back. "I know, honey."

"His face went all strange," she whispered plaintively. "I just kept saying 'Jesus' and then I woke up here. I want to go home, Riss."

My spirit sank even lower. How could I explain that I couldn't do that for her?

And what would happen later, I thought, after this "sharing" period, assuming we all survived it? They couldn't just let Lisa go, any more than they would let one of us go. She was a prisoner, too —forever. And —I didn't want to think it, but my brain refused to be ignored —when would Vivian and Andre decide she had to earn her keep, too, and start feeding the monsters?

I stared up at the ceiling as my eyes filled with tears. _God, I don't know if I can keep on. Why did You let this happen? Do You even hear us?_

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Bree, awake and watching me with compassion in her eyes. _Not your fault,_ she mouthed.

I shook my head, not willing to entertain the lie.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you SO MUCH to my lovely reviewers —I honestly thought I had updated, and I had not. So here is chapter six!**

 **And just so you know —the rough draft of this story is complete. I'm just editing as I post, so If you review and follow and badger me for updates, I will get myself in gear and post! A little incentive I guess :) Thanks again, and enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 7  
**

Lisa didn't leave my side for the better part of two days. When I needed to shower or pee, she was sitting on the counter. When she had to shower or wash her hands, she wanted me in there. And whenever Vivian or Andre (but rarely Andre) opened the door to deliver medicine or meals, she dived for the other side of the bed or the bathroom door, and wouldn't speak for a long time after they had left.

She took to the other girls, though —Star, missing Laddie, babied her and let her play with Star's mass of hair. Bree found pieces from our higgledy-piggledy wardrobe to outfit her in, so she wouldn't be in pajamas all the time.

I mostly tried to encourage her to add to my mural, showed her where I had hidden the metal from David's earring to try to bolster her spirits, and read to her from our ratty copy of _The Return of the King_. It was a great love we both shared —the one book we could remember our father reading to us before he died. I read until I was hoarse because this was one touchstone that was familiar in this maelstrom of chaos.

But the clock ticked and we had to figure out what to do with Lisa when the boys finally came. "She can just stay down here, surely," Bree said, when I brought it up while Lisa was still sleeping.

"Have you not noticed that in this tiny ass room not built for four people, she has still managed to follow me around like a shadow?" I said in a low voice. "Even in this space, she can't just watch me, she has to stick by me. You think she's gonna let me be upstairs for several hours without her?"

"Well, if it's a choice between that and a room full of vampires," she replied doubtfully.

"Okay, rationally that makes sense," I admitted. "But when the rubber meets the road, how much weight does rational have?"

Bree stared into the middle distance. "Well. It's the guys."

"But she's going to want to do it again if it goes well, and I do not want her within fifty feet of Blaine or any of his murder squad," I hissed. "God knows what they'd do, or think about, or —" I broke off as Lisa stirred and rolled over, blinking sleepy eyes.

"We've got time," Bree murmured.

However, as it turned out, all the time in the world did not make a bit of difference. I explained, quietly and patiently, how we were going to have to go upstairs for a while, but it would be fine. "You'll have plenty of snacks, and you can draw and read," I said, pointing out the obvious. "If you don't feel safe, you can shut yourself in the bathroom with a book until we come back. I promise, it'll be fine." And she nodded seriously all though this, and watched silently as we got dressed and ready. But when Vivian knocked on the door, she wailed and wrapped her arms around my waist, as clingy as a monkey.

"Do you want us to peel her off?" Bree asked, without much hope.

I thought about peeling Lisa off me, and locking her downstairs to cry —and possibly scream. For hours. "No, go on," I said, shaking my head and patting Lisa on the back. "We'll be right behind you."

Star shot me a sympathetic look as she and Bree exited.

"I'm coming, Vivian," I said. "Give me a second, please?"

She eyed the situation and nodded. "Don't want too long," she said, but her words had no hidden threat in them.

"Lisa, hey, it's okay. You can come, honey. But you've got to stop crying, okay?" I said, rubbing her back.

Lisa sniffed into my midsection and nodded, gulping.

"Okay," I sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Why don't you take your book and your rabbit, okay? You're not going to be able to hang onto me the whole time. You're gonna have to be okay with that, because we don't want to get in trouble." I nudged her, and she obediently picked up the book and the rabbit before hanging onto me again.

"We're not gonna be able to get up the stairs like this." I juggled my snacks and soda into my good arm. "Hold my hand, okay? The boys aren't bad. They're actually pretty nice. They're taking care of Star's little brother for her."

Lisa took my hand but pressed her body into my side.

"Good enough." I towed her gently out of the room and up the stairs.

As I pushed open the basement door, the conversation ceased. Carefully not looking at anyone, not sure what they would see in my face, I walked and Lisa shuffled to my traditional "spot." I dropped my food and sat. Lisa tried to crawl into my lap, and I let her, sighing. "See?" I said, patting her back as she wound her arms around my neck. "Not that bad."

She didn't say anything.

With hardly a disturbance in the air, David appeared at my elbow. "Bree filled us in," he said, voice taut. But none of his anger showed on his face; his sire was in the corner talking to Andre.

"Oh, good. Hey, pepunk," I said, "This is David. He won me that rabbit. Do you want to say hi?"

"Does it finally have a name?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I thought you named it."

"I thought you didn't like 'bunny.'" He smiled a little as Lisa turned slightly to eye him.

"David took me to the Nutcracker," I told Lisa.

A slightly larger rotation of her head towards David. "On the beach?" she mumbled.

"Not right on the beach, but near the boardwalk," he said.

"You're the boy?" she asked, sitting up a little more.

He looked at me for confirmation. I shrugged; I had forgotten I had told her that. He smiled a little more. "I guess."

She rotated towards him more, I guess surmising that anyone who watched the Nutcracker couldn't be completely evil. She held out the rabbit —to show, not far enough to take. "Her name is Violet."

"I guess that's a pretty good name," David agreed. He turned back his lapel. "Riss got me this."

"It's an armadillo," she said, leaning forward to inspect the pin.

"It is." He said, smirking.

"They jump," Lisa offered up.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really."

"They can jump up three to four feet when they're scared," she said, nodding. "And then they hit the bottom of your car when you're driving."

David broke out in a chuckle.

"I didn't know that, pepunk," I said, taking the opportunity to ease her off my lap and down onto the loveseat.

"We learned in school," she said, drawing her knees up and cradling her rabbit, but not protesting the move. "On one of our did-you-knows for the week, somebody did armadillos."

"David," his sire called from across the room. He turned, not bothering to hide the look of annoyance on his face. "Come here," Max said, beckoning him.

He met my eyes, and I shook my head slightly. It wasn't a battle worth fighting.

"I'll see you later, Lisa. It was good to meet you," he said gravely.

Lisa bit her lip, but didn't hide her face again. "Bye," she whispered.

David crossed the room, and a disgruntled-looking Marko passed him in our direction.

"It's not a fun night," he said, plopping down on the floor by my feet. "We're swapping. Under orders." He watched Bree with a wistful look.

"Aww, does someone have a crush?" I cooed.

He looked up at me, indignant.

"Okay, now we've gotta find a way to tease Marko about Bree," I told Lisa. A tiny smile flickered across her face.

"Hi, Lisa, I'm Marko," he said, holding out his hand. She hesitantly put her hand in his, and he kissed the air above it. "What are you reading?"

She showed him the book cover, suddenly shy in the face of this charm.

"Very nice choice! I could never get through those books, myself. Do you like them?"

She nodded.

"Who's your favorite character?"

"Eowyn," Lisa said. "Because she gets to kill the Witch King of Angmar."

"Yeah? Tell me about that," Marko urged.

As he chatted up my baby sister, I met David's stormy eyes across the room from where he stood by Paul and Bree. My heart wrenched that I had only gotten a few minutes to talk to David. And I wouldn't get more for a while, I noted, while the adults sandbagged us.

"Get on with it," Vivian said in a low voice clearly only meant for Marko as she passed by.

Marko shot a scathing look at her back. "I hate that woman," he muttered. "Lisa, why don't you reread that part of the book to yourself quietly, and then you can explain it to me," he suggested.

My sister, while little, was not stupid. She looked up at me.

"It's fine, Lisa. Read your book and don't watch," I whispered, kissing her head. "Marko's okay. And he's not gonna try anything funny," I said, a smile curling over my lips as I glanced at Marko. "Because David's watching."

"And David likes you," Lisa said, gauging my expression.

"Yep," Marko said, when I opened my mouth and nothing came out. "She's David's girl, so no funny business." He waggled his finger at Lisa. "Very serious only."

Lisa giggled. An honest to goodness real giggle. I could see why Bree enjoyed Marko so much.

"Okay, miss," I said, tapping the cover. "You've got your assignment; let's get to it."

Lisa turned obediently to the battle, and Marko asked quietly, "What would you like, Riss?"

I shook my head, the concept of bargains tarnished and rotten now. "That was it," I said, nodding to Lisa. "That's what I wanted, right there. We're good."

Marko waited until Lisa was well and truly engrossed in the book before he bit into my bicep, and for that, I was grateful.

* * *

After they were ushered politely but firmly out of the house, David walked to where they had parked their bikes, but didn't get on, instead waiting for Marko to catch up with him.

"I barely took anything, I promise you, man," Marko said immediately.

"I believe you," David said quietly.

Relief lessened the tension in the air, but only a little. As Dwayne and Paul gathered closer, David said, "We have bigger issues here."

"Yeah, like the posers in our territory," Paul said, his face twisting in a nasty grin.

"What are we going to do about it?" Dwayne said, who hadn't moved from Star's side the whole night after he had seen the deep, foreign bite marks.

David pulled out a pack of cigarettes and stuck one in his mouth, lighting it. He took a drag and offered the other boys a smoke. Paul and Marko took one, but Dwayne waved it away, refusing to be sidetracked.

Exhaling, David watched the smoke curl from his mouth and nose into the night, as silent as a ghost. "Bree said that fighting is what they want," he mused. "Because they figure the girls will get caught in the middle. They don't care about our territory or what _we_ think," he said, motioning to the house.

"They should," Marko said. "Our turf. Our town. Our girls." Paul nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't matter," David said sharply. "They won't care if we kill the newcomers, or if they manage to get the upper hand on us. Either way, the girls lose."

"How do you figure?" Paul asked, brow wrinkling.

David took a hold of Paul's hair and shook him gently. "Think about it," he said in a low voice.

"This house is the only common point between us," Dwayne spoke up. "The ground zero. Whatever happens happens here. And if we're fighting over the girls, they're the ones who will get hurt the most. And besides," he said, tight lipped. "You don't mess with kids."

The pack hushed, thinking about this.

"She's a cute kid," Marko finally said. "Scared as hell, though."

"Scared of their keepers, or scared of the new pack?" Paul asked.

"If she had seen the new pack make those kinds of bites, she'd be catatonic," David decided.

The boys all thought about this. "So what do we do?" Paul finally said.

David blew a smoke ring up at the moon and frowned. "Figure out a way to change the ground zero."

Outwardly, he held the cool veneer of leadership and icy calm, but underneath, he burned. The idea of some stranger sinking fangs into what they considered theirs clawed at him. This was violation.

Within the pack, there was grace —they were brothers in blood, after all, and there was respect tendered towards your brother's girl when the keepers interfered —or in Paul's case, all the time, as it was understood that Marko had a crush on Bree and Paul was desperately in love with Maria, the cashier at Max's video store (whom he had spoken directly with three times). But outside their pack, no such imposition was tolerated.

As David and the guys rode back to the cave, the eastern edge of the horizon slowly lightening, he wondered to himself if that was the problem. While crammed full of primed vampire instincts, they had not fully "shuffled off that mortal coil" completely, and so part of them still hung onto the algorithm that dictated a pretty girl equaled date material, and not necessarily food.

It helped that prey started and ended as prey, and screamed. It didn't smile at them with glassy eyes that begged you not to bite so hard.

Maybe it would be better if… but no, he thought, gnashing his teeth at the idea. Maybe at the start, they could have taken that view, but now they were in too deep, the instincts of kiss and kill too entwined to sever. They'd have to see this through to the end, even though he had no idea what end that might be.

As they safely hung from the cave roof, waiting for sleep, David wondered, _Why Riss?_ Of the two girls —and then later, three —why her?

Maybe it was the anger that shone in her eyes when he looked her up and down. The refusal to be cowed or awed. The blatant distain for any sort of power or respect he might hold; to her, it was clearly dust. She was a leader, and he was, too —it made sense _._

 _And she wanted me_ , he thought _. She wanted me to kiss her_. The understanding that passed between them —for a second, they were allies against a larger enemy, the adults, a far more overpowering and uniting instinct than species division.

And she was beautiful, in the way the ocean crashing against rocks or a thorny wild rose was beautiful —a hard jaw and angry eyes set under long, thick, dark blond hair. Tall and leggy, littered with silvery scars and red scabs. Human. A girl.

 _His_ girl, he reminded himself. Everything else was ancillary and inconsequential. Someone (Andre, the bastard) had hit _his_ girl. Some other vampire had had its fangs in _his_ girl.

And he promised himself they would regret it.

* * *

A sharp rap hit the door in a perfunctory way before Vivian walked in the next night. "Time to get up, girls," she said briskly, dusting off her hands. "Our callers will be here in an hour."

Lisa dove for the other side of the bed as I sat up and tossed my hair away from my face. "What?" I exclaimed, aghast.

"Did I not speak clearly enough, Marissa?" Vivian asked icily.

"But it's only been a day," Bree protested weakly.

"Since Max's sons; you've had four since Blain's pack."

The very name made me flinch.

"You can't do this," Star whispered.

Vivian turned an ironic smile on Star. "Oh? I think you'll find I _can_. Now get dressed. And Marissa," she said, fixing me with a stare, "I expect you to think long and hard about your attitude tonight."

"Yes, Vivian," I murmured, because what else could I say?

The door clicked shut, and Star burst into tears.

Bree scooted over to her cot to try to comfort her, but what could she say right now? Once I forced away my need to throw up, I looked over the edge of the bed at Lisa, who peered back wide-eyed. "You are staying down here tonight, period. You have an hour to get used to the idea."

"Rissa —" Lisa said, mouth dropping open.

"No," I said, and she shrank back from the look on my face. "Blaine isn't like David. They're not the same. You are staying down here, and you are locking the door until we come back."

I clutched my head and ran my fingers through my hair. Attitude. _I'm going to have to be civil. Or at the most, very dry sarcasm and little open rebellion. I can do that. I'm already dead inside._ "I'm going to take a shower," I announced. No one hollered, so I walked into the bathroom, shut the door, turned on the water, and stripped. Finally under the hot water, I let myself fall apart.

 _God_ , I prayed, sitting on the floor of the shower stall as the water streamed down, _God, God God._ I had no other prayers to pray; I had no other words left within me. I sat on the floor and washed my hair, and cried as I washed my bite marks, and prayed. _God_ , _if I die tonight, or if we all do, please look out for Lisa. I know this is all my fault. But please don't punish her for it._

I got out of the shower in a cloud of stream and stared in the mirror at my reflection like I had never seen it before. My bleary gaze lit on the bear bubble necklace on the counter; I must have left it in here after the Boardwalk. I pulled on the string and slipped it over my head, letting it thud into my chest. Its thump was comforting. Real.

"God." I mumbled the word. It was so unfamiliar in my mouth now. As my hair dripped water onto the bathmat, I clutched the bear, wanting to hold onto something. Anything. "God. Please. I don't know if you can hear me, but don't let this be the end."

I exited the bathroom and dragged out clothes from the wardrobe in automatic. My wrist still hurt like anything. I sat on the edge of the bed and toweled off my hair as Star disappeared into the bathroom.

"Riss," Lisa whispered from her corner.

"Yes, honey," I sighed.

"Does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt," I said absently, looking around for the extra gauze and ointment. Bree tossed it across the bed to me.

"When they bite you," Lisa whispered. "Does it hurt?"

I looked down at her face. "Sometimes," I said honestly. I squirted the ointment onto my wrist one handed and then wrapped the gauze around.

She scooted forward and helped me tape the gauze. "Why do they do it?"

I brushed her hair away from her face. "I don't know, Leese."

"Why do _you_ do it?" she insisted. "Why do you let them bite you?"

I cupped her cheek with my hand. "To protect you."

She sniffed. "But before, why didn't you—"

I shook my head. "No, Lisa. Even then, they told us we could cooperate, or they would hurt the people we loved. I'm your big sister, okay? It's my job to keep you safe." I hugged her, hard. "And they're not going to hurt you. Because I'm always going to be here."

She wrapped her arms around me, and I prayed, _Lord, forgive me for the lie._

* * *

It started out how you might expect. We waited, affecting boredom but inside drawn taut with nerves. By the time a knock and loud laughter echoed outside, my palms were sweaty and my nerves practically singing.

On the longer sofa, Bree and Star sat close enough that their thighs pressed together, the nearness a comfort. I wedged my back into the corner of the cushion and the loveseat arm and waited, making myself eat a cracker even though my mouth was as dry as dust. We shared a look of fortitude before the vampires walked into the room.

"Marissa," Blaine said, a look of sick delight crossing his face. "Delighted to see you again."

I bit back the automatic ' _burn in hell, you prick,'_ and took a drink of coke without saying anything.

He sat down on the loveseat and grabbed me by the back of my neck, dragging me forward. "You're looking well." His gaze ran down my face, my neck, and then further down.

Wonderful, he was a skeeze just like Andre. "Thanks," I forced out.

He stared at me, puzzled. "No insults tonight, darling? No veiled threats, no crass words?"

"Sadly, no," I said, deadpan.

He took hold of my chin, peering into my eyes. Then he slowly upped the pressure.

He wanted a reaction from me. I clenched my fists and glared at him as my jaw ached and tears sprang to my eyes. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.

His eyes narrowed, then dropped to the neckline of my shirt. He let go of my chin to fish out the plastic bear on the string. "What's this?" he asked lightly.

I shrugged, looking away. "Bubbles?"

"Bubbles," he repeated, voice going flat.

"I like bubbles," I said, deadpan. Only then did I notice the silence, and the slight choking noise that broke the silence. Like someone trying not to laugh.

That someone was not Blaine, and I didn't dare look around to see whom it could have been. He glared at me, like I was making fun of him.

I raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling the humor. "What?"

"You like bubbles."

I nodded, feeling the humor turn to manic hilarity in my stomach. "Yes, I do. That is a true statement of fact." I battled with my mouth for mastery over the smile that ached to appear. But I soon wasn't feeling amused. "Hey!" I exclaimed as Blaine pulled the string over my head.

"You see," he said, swinging the necklace in front of me, "I think you wear this for another reason entirely."

I tamped down my anger. "I like bears, too," I pointed out. Why wouldn't he just bite me already? He was trying to play cat and mouse, and he was bad at it.

He smiled. "It's from one of them, isn't it? One of your beaus."

"My _what_?" I said. "How old _are_ you?"

He ignored that, driving towards his point. "Yes, Vivian told us all about them," he said, leaning towards me. "About your little… flirtation."

 _That's malice_ , I thought, recognizing the emotion in his eyes. _He's mad that I haven't reacted yet, and he's mad about the boys._ "Can I have my necklace back?"

"Would you flirt with me for it?"

"No. I don't have to. It's mine. Besides, aren't you worried about how being seen with bubbles will affect your man card?"

I grabbed the bear, but he still held onto the string. I tugged, hard, and the stopper in the top of the bear gave way. I came away with the bear and he with the string —and the ounce of water spurted over the both of us.

He screamed and leapt backwards as the bubble mixture touched his hand.  
Snatching up the string that he dropped, I watched his flesh bubble and burn down to the muscle. Then it knit itself back together, steaming.

My mouth hung open. _It was —soap. Bubble mixture. How did that happen?!_

You could have heard a pin drop.

"You," he growled, face contorting, growing ridges and fangs. He lunged for me, pressing me back into the couch. I yelped as he wedged a knee in between my legs and held me down. "You aren't afraid of me, aren't you, Marissa," he hissed.

"Get off!" I pushed back against him.

"Anger's useful, fun. Heats the blood nicely," Blaine went on, pulling his lips back in a macabre grin. "But fear —that's real flavor. Makes everything …sweeter. And that's what I've never found in your blood. Why is that?"

"I'm supposed to be afraid of you because of what big teeth you have?" I struggled to push him off me, though I knew it was useless. "Because you could kill me? Get real —so could another human. So could a really dedicated duck. You're not _special_ ," I spat.

"We'll see," he growled, opening his mouth.

I looked away from his face, steeling myself, forcing myself to feel nothing —until I stopped breathing.

The basement door was cracked, and in the slightly open doorway I could see Lisa's face, peering over the basement stairs. How had she gotten out? _Go back!_ I mentally screamed _. Go back, before —_

Blaine lifted his head, and my blood turned icy cold. "What have we here," he cooed, a disturbing sound coming from his contorted face. "A ickle teeny girl-child."

He stared down at me, and my heart pounded in my chest, blood draining from my face. "And now here's the truth, at last. Fearful. Petrified out of your mind —for someone else. So that's your secret." He glanced from Lisa back to me, still grinning.

I couldn't think —couldn't breathe —

"I'll remember this for next time," he said, leaning close and whispering in my ear, breathing on my neck. "I'll think up something fun for the three of us. You'll like that, I promise."

Blaine pulled back and looked me in the eye. "But not tonight. Right now —I'm hungry." He shoved my head to the side on the armrest, and I yelped —right before his fangs sunk into my neck.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

 _The Next Night_

Marko burst into the cave in a flurry, landing awkwardly on the fountain as the boys jumped up from their various sitting and lounging positions. "They're leaving," he gasped.

"What?" Paul yelled.

"Who," Dwayne demanded, wanting specifics.

"The adults," Marko panted. "Looking dressed for a night on the town, if you get me."

David stood up from where he sat in the dilapidated wheelchair. "So the girls are alone."

Marko nodded.

"Well, we'd better go check on them. With all the dangerous characters in the area, I'm sure that would be the _gentlemanly_ thing to do."

They'd kept watch the previous night, too, and he'd had a job of it keeping his pack from attacking the newcomers. Only a strong reminder that they didn't want this to become ground zero had held them back. After the newcomers left, they had tailed them for a while, but lost them in the press of bodies in downtown Santa Carla, much to David's annoyance. He wanted to know where their lair was; it would be useful information for a future fracas.

They flew, the need for speed overcoming the possibility that they might be seen this early in the night. They house looked dark and silent, locked against the inhabitants' return, but they found a way in. Paul had a talent for finding the one door unlocked, the one window latch not turned. He had put the talent to good use as a housebreaker before he decided to knock over Max's video store, which then channeled his nightly activities in a new direction.

After a few tries, they found an upstairs window unlocked —not an accessible entrance for humans, but for someone who could fly, it was no trouble at all.

"Don't touch anything," David warned as the slipped inside. "We don't want them to know we were here."

They padded with exaggerated caution down the two flights of stairs into the basement. Marko tried the handle of the girls' door. It was locked. "Bree?" he called softly. "It's Marko. Can you open the door?"

They heard some faint rustling in the room. "Who is it?" a small voice asked fearfully.

"Hey, Lisa," Marko said, crouching down. "It's Marko, remember me?"

"Yeah," Lisa said, sounding closer.

"Are the girls in there with you?"

"They're asleep, and I can't wake them up," she said, gulping. "Can you help?"

"We could break the door down," Dwayne suggested, glaring stonily at the obstruction.

"That would be a little obvious that we were here," David said, acid creeping into his tone.

Paul inspected the lock. "If I had something to work with, then…." he muttered.

"I can open the door," Lisa said suddenly. "I can pick the lock."

In the sudden, surprised silence, David said, "Good. Open the door, Lisa." They heard more rummaging and then the faint scratch of metal on metal. The scraping and twisting carried on for a minute, and then the door opened with a quiet click.

Lisa stood in the doorway clutching a metal nail file and a bent piece of metal David recognized as the mangled remains of his earring. "They won't wake up," she said again, swiping a hand across her nose. "Not for long. She gave them something."

She stood back from the door so they could come in.

"How'd you learn that, kiddo?" Paul said as he passed her.

"Girls camp," she replied.

"Awesome!" He high fived her, coaxing a trembling smile from her lips.

The room was dim, the light from the bathroom illuminating two shapes on the bed and one on a cot. "Bree," Marko said, falling to his knees on the near side of the bed. "Bree, wake up." He smoothed her hair away from her face and ran a hand down her cheek.

She flinched and whimpered, eyes flickering. They could all see the white gauze that ran from the hinge of her jaw to her collarbone. It was stained with dried blood, and her skin under the pigment was ashen.

"Bree!" Marko exclaimed.

David rounded the bed, dodging Dwayne who had knelt at the head of the cot. Riss lay huddled and still on the other side of the bed. Her skin was waxen, and under her eyes deep shadows lingered.

"Riss," David said, pulling off his gloves to touch her skin. Freezing cold.

"Rissa, wake up," Lisa said, squeezing between him and the bed.

At the sound of her sister's voice, Riss's eyes opened, but they remained unfocused.

"Can you hear me?" David whispered, and her eyes landed on him.

"Lisa," she whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Lisa's right here," David assured her, finding her hand and gripping it.

"Take… Lisa…." Riss said, eyelids fluttering with the ordeal of speech. "Promise."

"Riss —"

"Can't stay here," she slurred. "Promise…."

She was nearly exsanguinated. They all were. The smell of old blood and fear filled the room. "I promise," David swore grimly. "I promise you aren't staying here another minute."

Dwayne looked at him wordlessly, fingers twitching.

"What d'you mean, man?" Paul asked.

"We're changing ground zero." David looked around the tiny room. "Lisa, help us figure out what to pack. We can't take much, but we can take some things."

The little girl nodded, immediately pulling out a duffel bag and shoving things in it.

He stripped off a blanket from the bed, thinking they'd need to be warmly wrapped when they flew out of here. Riss shifted at the movement, something in her other hand becoming visible. He peered at it, uncurling her hand from its tight clasp on the object.

It was the plastic bear necklace he had given her at the carnival. He touched it —and then recoiled as his finger blistered and the skin reformed.

He slipped on a glove and picked it up again. It was empty —and broken; the stopper and string missing. But it had burned him. He carefully wrapped it in a Kleenex and tucked it away in a pocket before lifting her from the bed. She was hardly a burden, and freed of blankets, he could clearly see the ugly mass of bandages on the right side of her neck and trapezius muscle.

As he swaddled her in the blanket, she shifted and sighed against his chest. "David."

He froze, watching her face. As far as he could tell, she was still asleep —or drugged, more likely. But she had called his name.

He picked her up and cradled her in his arms. _His_.

* * *

I slipped in and out of dreams, sometimes seeing my dead father, who told me to keep my chin up, and sometimes my mother, crying in our house all alone, but always interspersed with monsters. I could remember all their faces, and how they changed to the terrifying visages that came at me in real life as well as dreams.

Once I thought I saw David bending over me, and I begged him to take care of Lisa, to get her out of this house. I drifted for a while before I thought I was flying, but that turned into a dream about ice and snow, and blood on the ground.

When I finally woke, I was lying somewhere soft and warm, staring at something that shimmered. I reached out a hand, and the shimmer tinkled softly. As my eyes focused, I realized I was looking at part of a beaded curtain.

With shaky arms, I pushed myself up to a sitting position and looked around. Bree and Star and I lay on mattresses heaped with blankets and partitioned off with the beads, a section of heavy velvet curtain, and draped lace shawls. Beyond that… I rested my arms on my knees and stared. It was part underground cavern, part dilapidated lounge. An empty fountain sat in the center of the room, broken chandelier lying cockeyed in its middle. Various broken bits of furniture and trash were scattered about the room, and on the far wall hung a huge Jim Morrison poster. Faint trickles of sunlight came in through the holes in the cavern roof. With trembling limbs still weak from blood loss, I pulled the top blanket off the pile and slipped through the curtains.

I was tempted to think I was still dreaming, but the weakness from the blood loss and Vivian's drug convinced me otherwise. Blanket carefully secured around my shoulders, I picked my way to the fountain and surveyed the room. Where we were?

Only now, away from most of the light, did my eyes pick out the form sitting in the deepest shadow. My heart gave a painful thump —and then I saw the pale hair. I shuffled over to him and stared.

He sat in a very old wheelchair and looked back at me blearily. "Sit down, Riss; you look like you're about to fall over," David said, voice thick with tiredness. He reached out and gently tugged me into his lap.

I went without much protest. "How did we get here?" I mumbled, trying to find a way to lean that didn't stretch my neck.

"We brought you," he said, yawning.

I made a face. "You look like I feel."  
"I'm nocturnal," he grumbled. "But we thought it would be best if we took shifts so if you woke, you wouldn't freak."

I must have still had the drug in my system because I finally realized, "Where's Lisa? Where is she—"

David cut off my rising panic. "She and Laddie are off exploring the rooms."

"Rooms?" I said blankly.

"This used to be a hotel," he explained, idly stroking my hair. "The biggest resort hotel in Santa Carla around the turn of the century. All the important people stayed here when they visited the city. It fell down a fault line in the big quake of 1906, and moldered till we found it."

I relaxed a little, but the niggling feeling would not go away, so I finally asked the question at the back of my mind. "David, how old are you?"

"Twenty-one."

"How long have you been twenty-one," I said softly.

"Six years."

I let out a breath. "Oh, good." My eyelids drooped.

He chuckled softly. "Were you worried?"

"A little," I admitted around a yawn. "I knew you couldn't be that old, or you wouldn't look so current. I was just afraid it would be something slightly creepier, like twenty or thirty years."

Just then, Dwayne crept out of a dark tunnel, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He was bare-chested.

" 'Bout time," David said, lifting me off him so he could stand.

"We need a plan, you know," Dwayne said. "They could be coming for us as soon as the sun sets."

Instinctively, I clutched the lapels of David's coat, reality crashing in. Vivian. Andre. Certain death for us —and maybe the boys. Circumstances _had_ to be dire; I had never heard Dwayne say so many words together.

"When the sun starts setting, wake us all up and we'll plan. They'll have to talk to Max in order to find our lair, anyway, and that'll take some time. They'll have to pull him from the shop," David added.

"He'll be angry." Dwayne crossed his arms.

David's lip curled. "I know, but can we do anything about that now?"

"You may have more time than you think," I realized. "When they drug us, we're down for the count. They might not have checked on us when they came back at dawn."

Dwayne and David shared a look over my head. "We'll add that in when we make plans," David said, pulling on my hand. "I don't know that we should bank on it, but it's a thought. Right now, I need to get out of his light, and you're swaying."

"I have to check on Lisa," I insisted, but he was spot-on —I stumbled every few steps from tiredness.

He put an arm around my waist and held me up. "Why are you so stubborn?" he said, exasperated, but possibly a bit fond. Maybe it was the fatigue.

"I'm right," I informed him. "I don't know why I should give up when I'm the one who's correct."

He led me towards the dark tunnel and pressed a kiss to my hair, a strangely intimate gesture. "Fine. We'll find Lisa. Then sleep."

I balked at the edge of the tunnel mouth. "I can't see."

He gathered me up in his arms. "I can. We've got some flashlights and lamps somewhere. We'll get one."

As he walked into the pitch-blackness, I hung, stiff and awkward, in his grasp. After so much touch and contact, I had no idea why I found _this_ the act I was uncomfortable with. But within a few seconds, I could hear the high voices of children. We turned a corner and a lantern's glow shone from a room with its door askew. In a room full of junk and furniture, Lisa and Laddie crouched by a chest and investigated its contents.

"Rissa!" Lisa said, jumping up at the sight of me. David let me down, and I hugged her. "I thought you would _never_ wake up," she gushed. "Look, Laddie and I are finding a bunch of stuff! We found a pipe and an old-timey shoe and a candle stick!"

"That's awesome," I said around a yawn.

She gave me a critical look. "You're not gonna be like Sleeping Beauty, are you?"

"Hope not," I said, "but I bet I know how she felt." I rubbed my eyes. It felt like sand was caked in them.

"Don't worry, Lisa," David said, smirking. "If she sleeps for too long, I can wake her up."

"Yes, that's what princes are for," Lisa said blithely.

I let that slide for a hot second. "You okay down here?"

"Yes, Laddie knows the way around," she assured me.

"Thanks, Laddie," I told the quiet boy.

He flashed me a shy smile.

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?" I promised.

"Okay," Lisa said, turning back to their investigation happily.

I let David lead me away. "Before, she stuck to me like a cocklebur," I said, shocked. "Wow."

David turned down another hall and let go of me for a moment to find and light a kerosene lamp. The room in front of us bloomed to life. While sparse, it had a distinctly lived-in look. "This is my... mm, space," David said. He pulled off his gloves and dropped them on the worn rug by the bed.

More questions —and some hesitations— jumped to my mind, but all that came out was a yawn.

"You're being stubborn, again, Riss," he sighed. He lifted me up and dropped me on the bed, sitting on the edge to pull his boots off. I opened my mouth to protest —but the sag of the mattress and my fluttering eyelids lulled me almost immediately into slumber. I barely felt David lie down beside me as I drifted off again.

* * *

I slept without dreams, and when I woke, I felt very warm and safe. Possibly this had something to do with the arms that held me tightly to a silent chest.

"I know you're awake," David's voice said in my ear.

"Mmm." I rolled over and accidentally smooshed my nose into his chest. "What tipped you off, smart guy."

"Your breathing changed."

I huffed and pulled back a little to get a better look at his face. He smiled a little and threaded his fingers through my hair. This was one of the few times his blue eyes lost their coolness and grew warm. "David," I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you pull us out of the house?"

The smile fell. "You were half dead, Riss."

"I've been half dead before," I said slowly. "No one's cared." _No vampire_ , I thought.

"He bit you," he said, abruptly angry.

"Huh?" Quite a few people had bitten me.

"The bastard from the new pack." He trailed a gentle hand feather-light down my neck. "Blaine."

I forced away the involuntary shudder. "How did you know —"

"Lisa, of course," David said.

"You pumped my little sister for information?" I said flatly.

"I didn't need to pump; she offered. She likes me," he said, smile reappearing.

"It's that slick vampire charm, no doubt," I mumbled.

"That, and she wanted to tell someone that a man held her sister down and sank his teeth into her." David's smile turned hard. "And threatened to do worse the next time."

I looked away. "You think this is the first time that's happened?"

"Was it?"

"You think all vampires are like you, pack-bonded so there's some residual human emotion in them still? You think all vampires joke and smile before and after drinking from us?" I went on in a surprisingly level voice. "You think all vampires look at us like _people,_ with thoughts and feelings? No. We're a food source, and if they can terrify us while they're at it, so much the better." I looked back at him, feeling raw and foolish and vulnerable. "Answer my question, David."

He ran a finger up and down my spine, and I shivered, very aware of his nearness. If he wanted to, he could snap my neck, drain me dry —any number of things. He said, in a low voice, "I didn't want anyone to touch you again."

My heart simultaneously rose and fell. He cared —in some small way. But he said 'touch', not 'hurt'. And since he clearly did not count himself in that category, there was no guarantee that I would never again sustain fang marks.

 _But he cares,_ the part of me that sought connection at any cost insisted. _He took a terrible risk getting all of you out of there. He could have done any number of things if that was his only motivation._ I let out a long, shuddering breath, my heart flip flopping, not knowing what to believe.

David leaned forward and slanted his head, our noses brushing as he placed his lips on mine. The kiss was soft, long and sweet, and my heart thumped painfully. I didn't know how he felt —I didn't trust my foolish hopes. But unfortunately, I knew how _I_ felt. I pressed my lips a little firmer against his, kissing back.

His hand tightened against the small of my back, pulling me against him, deepening the kiss —

And then Dwayne was knocking against the door, saying, "Sunset, time to plan."

We broke apart, and oddly, my face burned. As David sat up and called to Dwayne we'd be right there, I touched my face. I had never blushed before when I was kissing David, and usually there were more people watching. My blond hair fell between us like a curtain, and I hid behind it, carefully easing up and getting to my feet.

He tugged on his boots and gloves and then glanced over to where I stood, head down, adjusting the blanket around me. "You okay?" he asked, holding out his hand.

I nodded distractedly. "Yeah." I took the hand and let him lead me towards the main room, but all the way, I told myself, _You stupid idiot. You absolute fool, Riss. You actually fell for him._

 _There is no way that this can end well._


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Many apologies for the delay, all! Life got rather hectic. As a reward, here are TWO chapters! Get excited :)**

 **Chapter Nine**

David couldn't understand what her problem was. All throughout their strategy meeting, Riss had stayed silent and pensive —no snarky comments forthcoming. Even Star had ventured a cautious opinion. Was it, he wondered, the "rock and a hard place" aspect? Did she have a problem with the conclusion they had come to, that this would end in death for _someone_ , and the boys were of the opinion that they'd rather it not be any of them?

Eventually he nudged her as she sat with her head on his shoulder, bringing her out of her funk. "What's the matter?"

"Huh?" she said, making a face at being jerked out of her brown study.

David raised an eyebrow. "Do you disapprove?"

She stared at him like he was crazy. "No. I just think you're all being thick."

Marko and Paul giggled. "How so?"

"You're thinking like —like _vampires_ ," she shrugged. "Talking about fighting Vivian and Andre, fighting Blaine's pack —but you act like you're just going to duke it out with fists and fangs."

"So? We're good at that," Paul smirked.

"With vampires over a hundred?" she said, incredulous. Riss sat up straight. "You'd have a better advantage if you thought like a human."

They all stared at her.

"Think about it," she insisted. "How much of that stuff, like sunlight and garlic, really _works?"_

In the thoughtful silence, David reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the bear. Carefully unwrapping it from the Kleenex, he showed it to Riss. "This burned me when I touched it."

Her hand, which had been reaching for it, checked in mid-air. "Burned," she whispered. "It spilled on Blaine —burned his hand." She touched the plastic hesitantly. Nothing happened.

Dwayne approached, frowning intently. He reached out —and they all heard the sizzle of flesh. He jerked back, sucking on his fingers. "Holy water," he declared, shaking the sting out of his fingers. All eyes stared at the bear.

"How did that happen?" Bree whispered.

Riss looked shocked, but she closed her fingers around the bear and shook her head. "Never mind. That's my point. What works on vampires? Holy water."

"Salt, garlic," Bree said, counting on her fingers. "Stakes to the heart."

"Garlic doesn't work," Dwayne said, with authority. No one asked how he knew this.

"Don't know about salt," Marko said with a laugh, "But stakes work on everybody, okay?"

"Running water," Star offered, "and fire and sunlight?"

"I don't think the water thing is true," Paul said, making a face. "I mean, we fly over the ocean all the time."

"Fire works," Dwayne said, nodding at Star. She smiled happily.

From where they sat at Star's feet, Lisa whispered something to her new friend. Laddie offered, "Cut their heads off."

"Again, I'm sure that would work on everyone, but yes," David said dryly.

"Crucifixes," Bree said. "Mirrors."

"How do mirrors kill a vampire?" Star said, frowning.

"I think it's how to tell if they _are_ vampires," Riss corrected her. "But you could probably hit them over the head with one."

"Ha, ha," said David.

She poked him in the ribs. "Hush. So out of this wide assortment of methods, can we use any of them against Vivian and Andre?"

"There's furniture all through here," Star said softly. "Plenty of wood for stakes."

"And fuel for fire," Bree said.

"Sunlight's tricky," Riss said. "But there's gotta be a church in this town, we could get some holy water." She stared down at the bear.

David made a mental note to get her alone and ask her about that later.

She glanced around at the boys. "Okay, this is what I'm talking about. It's like a mental block or something." She snapped her fingers under David's nose. "Hello?"

He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. "We're still drowsy, Riss. But sunset is in…."

"Twenty minutes," Dwayne said.

"Right. So we are either going to have vampires descend on us within the hour, or we've got more of a buffer, say three hours." He stood up and winced against the last trickles of light that flickered through the cavern. "Dwayne, you start making this place defensible —stakes, fire, the works. And block off the smaller entrances —we want to know where they'll be coming from. Riss and I will go get some holy water." He pulled on her hand.

"We've still got twenty minutes," she protested as the rest of the group erupted into a flurry of activity. The guys disappeared down the tunnels to acquire supplies, and the girls and kids began to pile up debris into barricades.

"I want to talk to you," David said, giving her a look.

"What about," she said, avoiding his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He tucked some of her hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger there.

"Someone's going to die in this confrontation," she whispered.

"Yes," David agreed, "Vivian and Andre."

"How do you know that?" she demanded. "What if they don't? What if it's you?" She stared at him, eyes wide.

"Worried about me?" He leaned his forehead against hers.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Don't be," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "What was the deal with the bear?"

She uncurled her fingers from the plastic pendant, and they both looked at it. "I don't know." She shook her head. "The only thing I can think is —" She broke off as tears sprang to her eyes.

"What?" David asked, alarmed. He had never seen Riss cry, ever.

"I prayed," she whispered. "I prayed and I was holding the bear, and I think —God heard me."

The words jangled unpleasantly down David's spine, but he shoved away the sensation. The sun was going down. "Well, then you can be the one to apologize for stealing the water," he said. "Let's go."

* * *

In the early dusk, as the last rays of sun dipped below the horizon, David and I zipped out of the cave on his bike, heading into town. I didn't know where we were going, but apparently the boys had been in Santa Carla long enough for them to know where most things were, even if they didn't frequent them. Like church, I guess.

David parked on the street, and I swung off the bike holding three water bottles and a jug in a backpack. David eyed the sky. "Don't be too long."

"You're not going to help?" I said, my arms full.

David rolled his eyes. "Church ground, Riss. We can't step on it."

I stared at him. "You might've mentioned this earlier. We could've holed up at a church —"

"Without us to protect you," he reminded me. "Hurry up, you're burning moonlight."

I huffed and walked into the church, which was partly lit. It sounded like they were having choir practice.

Slipping in at the back of the sanctuary, I stopped and stared. It was December now —Christmas decorations and evergreen boughs filled the sanctuary, as well as candles and soft white twinkle lights. My heart wrenched.

As the choir direction gave directions and discussed the next piece, I slowly unscrewed the tops and dipped them into the water stands behind the pews. They weren't paying attention to me, and it was partial darkness, anyway.

"Okay, everyone," the director said. "Let's try it once more from the top." He clapped his hands and gave them the tuning note.

The choir took a deep breath, and the haunting carol flowed from their lips, filling the space.

 _"I wonder as I wander out under the sky,  
that Jesus my Savior did come for to die  
For poor on'ry people like you and like I...  
I wonder as I wander out under the sky."_

My hands shook as I screwed the lids back on and stuffed them into the backpack I held. The choir repeated the refrain again as I forced myself to stand. _Do you see me?_ I thought, looking up at the cross in the shadows above the door. _Can you hear me?_ Clutching the water bottles, I dipped my fingers into the water. I had grown up Baptist, and water for sprinkling wasn't a concept I was familiar with. But I swiped my fingers across my forehead.

"You've preserved my life for almost a year," I whispered. "There's gotta be a reason."

I eased out the door as the choir segued into "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus."

David was waiting for me in the shadow of the brick wall by the street. "Did you get it?" he said, eyeing the backpack.

"Yes."

"Don't spill any of it on me."

"It's on _my_ back," I said, carefully mounting behind him. "That would be tough. Drive slowly, huh? I don't want this thumping into me at every bounce." I wrapped my arms around him and he revved the bike.

"What are you humming," he said over the roar of the bike.

"Huh?"

"You were humming. What was it?"

"A hymn," I said in his ear. "The choir was practicing." I couldn't see his face, but his body was stiff, uncomfortable. I pressed my lips together and didn't say anything. Tough, if he had a problem with it. I had let Vivian and Andre beat me down for so long that I had grown used to the spiritual silence between God and me. These few moments had made something dry and withered in me start to come alive again.

On the road back to the cave, David finally said, "It sounded nice."

I didn't know if he meant the tune or my humming. I rested my head against his back and sighed. "Thanks."

Back in the cave, Dwayne met us at the entrance where the boys stashed their bikes. "We're sealing up all the entrances except the ones from the air. We won't have sneak attacks." He waved to Paul and Marko to fill this entrance with rocks and debris.

"We've got holy water," David said, motioning to the backpack I toted.

"What are we gonna do with it?" Marko said, passing us carrying a huge rock.

"We could pour it into the fountain," I suggested, shifting the straps' weight on my back.

"Good idea," David said, waving me on. I trudged carefully up the slope and through the halls to the main room of the boys' cave. "Hey, Star, come help me with this," I said, setting my bag down. "Can we get this chandelier out of the fountain, do you think?"

Star and I inspected the chandelier. "I'll get this end," she said, "and we can put it right below that big hole in the roof, where most of the guys fly in —it's kind of spikey looking."

"Good call." I grabbed the other side, and with loud rasping, we hauled it out of the fountain and under the patch of moonlight.

Plugging the fountain, Bree got the bottles out and busied herself with pouring the contents into the basin. "What do you think would happen," she mused, "if we drank some of this?"

We all stared.

"Well, nothing, to us anyway," I shrugged. "It couldn't hurt. Just don't chug it; otherwise we'd be left with nothing to use."

Bree handed around the last water bottle and we all took a swig.

"It's water," Star said. "What makes it holy?"

"A priest blesses it," Bree guessed.

I thought about the bear and didn't say anything.

"Laddie, Lisa," Star called to where the kids were breaking up rickety furniture for stakes. "Come over here and take a sip of this."

They did. "What is it?" Lisa said. "It tastes like water."

"It is," I assured her. "How many stakes have you got?"

"Lots, but you have to sharpen them," Laddie sighed. "They would let me use the knife."

"Good call," I said to the girls over his head. The last thing we needed was a bloody finger. "Maybe let the boys take care of that when they get done with the barricades."

"So what do we do now?" Lisa asked, plopping down on our mattresses.

I sat on the edge of the fountain and trailed my fingers in the few inches of water in it. "I guess we wait."

* * *

We had a while to wait. Halfway through the night, the boys got bored and started fooling around, but the exertion had taken a toll on us. Star, Bree, and I sat on the mattresses and tried not to yawn.

We had decided that, while not 'defensible' per se, our little grotto was preferable to being shut away in a room down the hall. We didn't want to take the chance that someone would try to bottleneck us in there. So now the curtains were thicker, and several tables and chairs were piled in front of the entrance.

Laddie had fallen asleep. Lisa was chattering to Marko about _Lord of the Rings_ , but I could see her yawning every few words, too.

Suddenly, all the boys stiffened.

Marko boosted Lisa towards me. "Someone's coming," he said.

Star drew the curtains around our little alcove, and we waited with bated breath.

The air whistled, and a muffled voice said, "I'm very disappointed in you, David. I thought you knew better than this."

 _Sire_ , Bree mouthed at me with wide eyes.

I leaned forward and listened intently.

"Well I guess this proves you're not right all the time, Max," David drawled.

"What are you boys thinking?" the sire demanded.

"There's a new pack in our territory," Dwayne rumbled. "We aren't going to tolerate that."

"Vivian and Andre are livid! Stealing those girls like that—"

"They're _ours,_ " Marko said.

"Well, this just proves to me you boys need discipline. Feeling possessive about your food is a weakness you need to overcome."

Star gulped, and Bree put a hand over her mouth. And suddenly, I was angry. Very, very angry. Their sire could look at human boys and see potential sons, but girls were just food? I poked Bree and whispered, "Change shirts with me."

She shot me a weird look.

I motioned for her to hurry up and pulled my shirt over my head. Her shirt had a wide neck, which she had chosen to avoid contact with her bandages —but on its own it looked… a little slutty. I pulled the loose teal material over my head and adjusted the neck so it left one of my shoulders bare. Then I shook my head and tousled my hair.

"What are you thinking?" Bree hissed in my ear.

The voices outside the curtains were starting to get tense and angry.

"Changing his mind," I mumbled before pushing aside the curtains and stepping out, affecting a yawn I didn't feel. All conversation stopped.

Running a hand through my hair, I picked my way through the debris field to where David sat, again in his wheelchair. He gave me a look, half angry, half impressed.

"You woke me up," I complained before collapsing into his lap. He caught me well for being unprepared. I purposefully ignored his sire, who looked very out of place standing in the cave in glasses and a button-up shirt.

"Sorry," David said, putting on his careless smile. He had figured it out.

I pouted. "No, you're not."

"No, I'm not," he agreed. "But you love me anyway."

My heart thumped uncomfortably at the word, but I heartily hoped no one besides David heard. I sighed artfully. "I suppose I do." Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him, and he responded with an enthusiastic snog, stopping only when the boys began to wolf whistle and clap.

I snuggled against David's side and shot the boys a glare. "Grow up." I smirked. "Oh, wait."

"Riss, I don't think you've met Max officially," David said, only now motioning to their sire. "Max, Riss. Riss, Max."

"Hi," I said as David kissed my hair.

"To answer your question, Max," David said, "we didn't take them just for food."

Max stared at me through horn-rimmed glasses I was completely sure he didn't need. Marko bit his thumb to keep from laughing. Paul didn't even try to hide his guffaw. Dwayne stared stone-faced.

I thumped David in the chest. "Don't be a jerk."

He grinned at me. "You love it."

"That's not the point," I muttered, rolling my eyes as my heart thumped again.

Max spoke up and said, "I can't excuse this behavior just because you have a crush, David."

David and I both turned to stare at him. I don't know what face David made, but I fixed him with an icy glare.

"You can't excuse his behavior in extricating us from a dangerous situation where two groups of vampires pettily tried to provoke an altercation that would lead our deaths, just because you think he wants in my pants?" You could have crashed the Titanic on the ice in my voice, not to mention the polysyllabic words. That happened sometimes when I got angry; I threw every big word in my arsenal at the foe. "Hypocritical of you," I continued, twining my fingers in David's hair. "Since you were trying to encourage chivalrous and gentlemanly behavior."

Paul and Marko looked like they had trouble following. Max blinked. "In what way provoke an altercation?" he repeated slowly.

I propped my elbow on David's shoulder and shrugged. "Vivian and Andre purposefully called a group of vampires to your territory, just to try to cow us."

"They're on _our turf,_ " Dwayne stressed, "drawing attention we don't need. Like you always say."

"Show him your wrist," David murmured.

"My _wrist?_ Try my _neck_ ," I snapped, lifting my hair away from my neck to expose the vicious bites and bruising. "Try _Bree's_ neck; she needed stitches."

The curtains rustled and Bree poked her head out, now wearing a tank top. I held back my surprise; I guess Bree was going to help bolster our position as well. "I heard my name," she said, slowly emerging. "What's going on?"

In a heartbeat, Marko was there to help her down, and she leaned on him a little more than she needed to for support. "Talking about what those bastards did to you," he said, settling his hand around her waist.

Bree automatically touched the bandages around her neck, and looked down.

"They don't give a damn about territory or exposure," David told Max.

"And they flunked out of Vivian and Andre's course," I added. "They said they'd never accept that group as a client again. They lied to us." I pointed to the scar tissue on my leg. "That was Blaine, the last time."

I felt David stiffen. "You never told me that."

"Well, I'm telling you now."

"I'm gonna kill him."

I looked down at him, startled. His blue eyes shone with utter seriousness. Mindful of all eyes on us, including his sire's, I nodded slowly. "Good."

He leaned forward and kissed me, very slowly.

"Uh, don't look now," Paul said from his perch, "but someone's coming. I think someone followed you here, Max."

* * *

More quickly than I thought possible, Bree and I were stuffed back into our alcove, sharpened stakes pressed into our hands as the boys took up a defensive stance around the room.

Lisa and Laddie stared with eyes the size of dinner plates. I handed them smaller slivers of wood, more the size of large pencils.

"How is that going to help?" Star hissed.

"No one ever said how big the stake had to be!" I said. "Pointy end out, kids. Back against the wall." Holding hands, the kids pressed their backs to the cave wall.

We didn't have long to wait. Whooping and hollering, Blaine's pack landed, barely missing the chandelier. Floating down more quietly came Vivian and Andre.

David's pack growled, a feral noise that rumbled from their throats and made the cavern buzz.

"Now, boys, I'm sure we can avoid a fight," Andre said, smiling that same smarmy smile that made me want to punch him. "Just give us back the girls."

"I thought I could trust you not to follow me, Andre," Max said, a hard note in his voice now. "I guess I was wrong."

"Well, Max, I know that a father sometimes doesn't want to discipline his children, but —"

Max took off his glasses. Somehow that was more sinister than the growls. "I was not apprised of all the facts, Andre."

Andre laughed, but we all caught the nervous edge. "Facts, Max?"

"They're blood thieves, what other facts do you need?" Blaine hissed, his face morphing into angular ridges.

I couldn't see David's face, but I'm sure he had morphed, too. He growled. Only Max's hand on his shoulder held him back.

Vivian sighed. "Just give us back the girls, Max, and we won't have to kill your sons."

"You seem pretty sure about that," Marko said.

She turned to sneer at him spitefully. "As if you could ever be a match for _me_."

"Oh, I don't know," Marko shrugged, revealing the cup he had been holding behind his back. "We'll see." Then he doused her with the water.

Vivian screamed —a high-pitched shriek that rattled what rafters were left in this place. Half her face burned and melted, the water corroding the flesh down to the bone. She fell to the ground —and the melee started.

I couldn't follow all the quick-moving fighters. The numbers were evenly matched, but the ages of the vampires varied. I clutched my stake and thanked the Lord we had talked the boys into human weapons —that was their one advantage.

Paul managed to get Rafael in the heart with a stake (he thereupon exploded —super gross), and Marko was fighting a weakened Vivian, but besides that they were locked into standoffs. Max had Andre by the throat, and David and Blaine were refusing to give ground.

 _I'm not going to just sit here_ , I thought. I got a better grip on my stake and stood.

Bree grabbed my ankle. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

"Making a difference," I said. The closest fighters to me were Marko and Vivian, who couldn't see very well —her eye was still melted —but she was strong. I scurried out of the alcove and over the barrier. " _Move her to me!"_ I mouthed to Marko.

He slammed into Vivian, angling her back towards me. I ran forward and rammed the stake into her back.

Her whole body went rigid. I met Marko's amber eyes over her shoulder.

Then she collapsed to the floor, turning into ash before our eyes.

"Nice," Marko said, flashing me a fanged grin.

I stared at the pile of ash at my feet, the only thing left of the woman — _monster_ —who had tortured us physically and emotionally for months. I started to shake.

Andre screamed, breaking Max's hold at the sight of Vivian's remains. Marko rushed to help Max. At the same moment, Blaine broke David's hold and came at me.

"YOU!" He screamed. I stumbled backwards and into the fountain. Crouching, I splashed a wave of water at him.

He growled and dodged, reaching for my throat.

David's hands grabbed Blaine's neck, and I hastily shut my eyes.

When I opened them again, Blaine's body was on the ground, head twisted completely off.

I met David's bright yellow eyes and shakily nodded.

* * *

The tide turned once we whittled down their numbers. More of David's pack could gang up on the older, stronger vampires, and that was enough to take them down.

In the aftermath of blood and ash strewn across the cave, I sat, feet still in the fountain, and watched the boys haul corpses out to sea. Bree put a hand on my shoulder. "This is it," she whispered. "We're free."

I squeezed her hand. "It may not be that easy."

"What do you mean? Vivian and Andre are dead —"

I hushed her as the boys flew back in the cave with their sire.

He took his glasses out of his breast pocket, cleaned them, and set them back on his nose. "Well," he said, sighing, "This night did not go how I expected."

Bree had to stop Marko from trying to wash his hands in the fountain of holy water. I rolled my eyes. They really were thick about these things.

"But you boys held your own very well, and I'm proud of you," Max went on. The boys hid smirks. "And I can admit that I was wrong." He turned to us, smiling congenially. "I can see that there are advantages to having daughters. Welcome to the family, girls."

 _Not free,_ I thought, holding back a shiver. _Not yet._


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Many apologies for the delay, all! Life got rather hectic. As a reward, here are TWO chapters! Get excited :)**

 **Chapter Ten**

It was midday, and raining. The liquid pattered down into the cave in a silver trickle, diluting the usually golden beams of light, to stream away in a river towards the sea. My hair felt gross with the high humidity, and that plus the grit and blood still under my nails made a poor combination.

The girls and kids were sleeping, the night before still looming large in our minds. But I couldn't get Max's words out of my mind. " _Welcome to the family."_

 _They're not my family,_ I thought. _Lisa is my family._ _My mother —if she's alive —is my family. They need me._

I rubbed my arms with dirty hands. I hadn't showered in three days. Making a face, I pulled off my shirt and walked to the stream of rain coming down. I stood under the frigid downpour in my bra and shorts, rubbing my hands through my hair to try and separate the strands and cut the grease. I just wanted to be _clean._

I stood under the spray for as long as I could stand before I shivered too much. Then I jumped out and wrung my hair out. Grabbing a blanket and clean clothes from our meager pile, I headed down the tunnel with a flashlight. I wasn't going to strip in the middle of a room, even if everyone _was_ asleep.

I found my way to the room David called his, and hastily peeled off the cold wet clothes, toweling myself off with the blanket. I pulled on underwear, soft pajama pants, and a t-shirt before sitting on the edge of the bed and sighing. My wet hair trickled down my back. I was still cold, inside and out.

I don't know how long I sat there before I heard David say, in a sleep filled voice, "You're all wet." I looked up to see him in the doorway, staring at me with a confused look on his face.

"It's raining." That didn't help clear up the look in his face. "I took a rain shower."

"Oh." He sat down beside me on the edge of the bed. "You look cold." He draped the blanket around me.

A sweet gesture. Kind.

"Mmm." I stared at my hands, rubbing them together. _It's time to be brave now. Get it over with. Now or never._ "You saved my life, you know."

He laughed a little. "Riss —"

"No," I said softly. "You did. However you want to look at it. I would have died with Vivian and Andre. You got me out of there. That's the only reason I'm still alive."

I shook my head. "But, David… I'm left with this terrible sense of owing you."

The silence stretched between us like a chasm that no bridge was big enough to cross.

"We bargained with them all the time, you know? And I can't help feeling like I've somehow got to bargain now."

"You don't," he murmured. "They aren't us."

"Aren't they?" I said in a broken voice. "Your sire wants us to join the family, David." I looked up at him, into blue eyes that could turn amber in a split second, in a face that could be soft and sweet or hard and sharp. "But I _can't_."

He reached for my hand, but I stood up, moving out of his grasp. "Bare minimum, I need to give Lisa a life. She deserves that. She needs me. And I need to know —need to see if my mother is still alive." I started to pace. "I don't know what Andre might have done to her. And if she is alive, I can't leave her alone, with both her children missing. I couldn't do that." I leaned against the wall, face turned away from him. "Don't you see, if I stayed, it would feel like that's my end of the bargain. Stay with you, be part of the pack, repay a life with a life."

I shook my head. "And if I don't, there's a sword hanging over my head. Join the family, or, or what? Face the consequences?" Tears pricked my eyes. "That's a huge burden. And it shouldn't be like that, David."

I hiccupped. "I don't want to be a vampire. I don't. And I couldn't stay as a human. Even when you look at me like that, I don't know —I'm afraid it won't be enough. That one day you'll be more interested in my blood than in me, and —"

"That will never happen," he said strongly, standing.

"But you don't know that," I insisted. "You don't know that, and you can't tell me that you'd want me around when I age faster than you, or that you'd try to make me change, or you'd get bored —" I hiccupped again. "I shouldn't have to feel like this, like I should sign over my freedom, my life, to somehow pay back this debt, not even for someone I love —"

The word caught in my throat and I stuttered to a stop, trying to stop crying, trying not to look at him.

"Riss," he whispered, and it was soft, and sweet, and full of pain. He stood and tilted my chin up.

"I can't," I whispered, staring at him through a haze of tears. "I can't."

He studied my face. "Can't stay," he said softly, "or can't love me?"

"Stay," I sobbed. "I love you already, and I can't help that."

He pulled me into his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Leaving would mean losing him, the only person in a year to love me.

 _This is borderline Stockholm,_ my rational self insisted. _You're in a bad place. You're clinging. You're attaching to a person of power and influence who can get you through this time. It's not real. Once you're out, things will be different._

 _That doesn't change the now,_ I thought. _And right now, this is how I feel. This is what I know._

Burying my face in his shoulder, I sobbed until I felt the catharsis begin. He just held me, the only sound the single _thump, thump, thump_ of my heart.

"When it gets dark," he said, "We'll find a payphone. You can call your mother."

I tightened my arms around him. However this ended, I would be losing something precious.

* * *

The payphone stood in a solitary circle of light underneath a streetlamp. People milled around the Boardwalk, but I barely saw them, my eyes fixed on the payphone.

"Here," David said, pouring quarters into my hand.

"Thanks," I whispered. I didn't move.

"It's not gonna bite you," he said, with a crooked smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"What if she's dead," I whispered. What if we didn't have a home to go back to? What if Lisa and I were completely alone.

He tilted his head to the side. "What if she's not?" He gently pushed me towards the phone booth.

The door slid open with a creak, things on the boardwalk not in the best repair. With shaking hands, I put in the quarters and dialed my home phone number.

It rang once, twice, three times. My heart sank.

 _God…._

The connection clicked. With a long, shuddering sigh, my mother's voice said, "Hello?"

My throat closed, and I couldn't breathe.

"Hello?" she said, again. I could hear the strain in her voice.

I coughed. "Mom?"

She gasped. "Who is this?"

I started to cry. "Mom, it's Rissa."

"Rissa?" Now _she_ was crying. "Oh my God, oh my God…."

"I'm okay," I said, sniffing and wiping my eyes. "So is Lisa, Mom; she's with me. I promise. We're okay!"

"Where are you?" my mother yelled into the phone. "I will come and get you, honey. _Jesus, thank you!_ What happened to you?!"

I laughed through my tears. That was my mom all over, happy and angry and thankful and amazed all at the same time. "I'm in California, Mom. I can't tell it all over the phone. I —"

David tapped on the glass, and I jerked my head up. He mouthed, _bus tickets._

I sniffed. "Mom, someone out here is helping us. He's gonna help us get a bus back home, okay? We're coming home."

"Never for a second did I stop praying for you, Rissa," Mom said strongly. "Not for one second. I always believed you would come home."

I bit my lip to keep from bawling. "Thank you," I whispered.

"I'm going to call your aunt and uncle, and your cousins —oh, Rissa. Is Lisa there? Can I talk to her?"

"I'm at a payphone," I said, "but we'll call when we get on the bus, okay?"

"Tell her I love her," my mother commanded. "And I love _you,_ honey!"

"I love you, too," I whispered, covering my face with my hand.

"You're coming home. Never, not for a moment," she stressed, "did I stop believing."

"I did," I admitted, voice cracking.

I exited the payphone, wiping my eyes ineffectually with the sleeve of my shirt. I'm sure I [CH1] looked like a hot mess.

David hooked a thumb at his bike. "There's a bus station downtown. We can go look at the routes and times."

"Right now?" I sniffed.

"It runs all hours. If there's one that leaves early in the morning, we can have you on it by dawn."

My heart thumped painfully. I'd be going home —but leaving him. And now it felt like he was pushing me away.

He continued, "We need as much time as possible to get whoever wants to leave away. Max will have a cow, but if we let him think we lost control and ate you, he won't come looking."

I reached out and hugged him. "Thank you," I whispered. "I hope you know how much this means to me."

He admitted, "I'm getting an idea."

* * *

"There's not going to be an argument," David growled to his pack. They stood in an unhappy circle outside the cave. "If they're going to be free, then they're going to be free to choose."

Scowling, Marko kicked some of the rubbish and sent it flying into the ocean. "This isn't what I wanted."

"Well, what did you want?" David hissed. "Did you want to keep them in the cave, just like they were kept in that house? Do you want then to hate you like they hated their keepers?"

Marko wouldn't meet his eyes.

Dwayne asked in a low voice, "What are we going to do now?"

"We're waiting until they make a decision," David said. "To go or stay. Then we'll put those who want to go on a bus."

"Max is going to flip his lid," Paul pointed out, scratching his head and casting an anxious look at Marko, still staring out to sea.

"That's why we're not wasting any time," David said. "If we take care of this tonight, avoid Max for about a week, and then start being seen without them, Max can draw his own conclusions. He'll be pissed, but he can't do anything about it." His eyes narrowed. "Marko," he called.

The boy sullenly turned.

"Come here."

With a slow, unwilling tread, Marko walked over. David grabbed him gently but firmly by the collar. "You're not going to make a fuss to them," he said. "You want to say something, say it here and get it out."

"What gives you the right?" Marko hissed. "Laying down the law like this? You've got everything —you've got Riss —"

"Riss _isn't staying_ ," David growled.

All the boys stared at him.

"But you and her —" Paul began.

David gave him a look that could have lit a wet forest on fire. " _And_?" he demanded. "She's got a sister and a mother and a _life_. She called her mother, we checked the bus times, and that's all there is to it. _Her_ choice."

Abruptly, Marko sat down on the ground. "This sucks," he muttered. "Never again."

Nobody asked him what he meant.

Inwardly, David echoed the sentiment. It felt like someone had sunk a set of teeth into his chest and was slowly bleeding him dry.

* * *

"Are you sure, Star?" Bree asked from where we stood in a circle by the fountain.

I crossed my arms over my chest.

Star gripped Laddie by the shoulders and lifted her chin. "Yes, we're sure. I don't want charity. We'll be fine."

"You've thought this through? All the way?" I said softly.

Star nodded. "When we ran away, we wanted to come to Santa Carla —and we want to stay."

Bree and I exchanged looks, but I had said it was a choice we all had to make —and they had chosen. "Well, you're always welcome at my house any time," I said, biting my lip. "Just remember that."

"We'll leave our addresses," Bree said, carefully ripping out a blank page from a paperback. "And phone numbers. If you need anything —"

"We'll be fine," Star assured us. "But thanks." She smiled and suddenly reached out and hugged me.

Surprised, I hugged her small frame back, inhaling some of her frizzy brown hair on accident. "Make sure they treat you right," I said. My throat tightened.

Star pulled away and threw herself at Bree, who recoiled almost as much as me, but after a second wrapped her arms around Star and squeezed.

"And you can always call and say hey to Lisa, if you want," I told Laddie, high fiving him.

"Sure," he said, as small boys do when they mean 'probably not.'

Lisa hugged him awkwardly. "Thanks for the cool rock."

"No problem," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets, also as small boys do.

"Cool rock?" I asked.

She showed me the rock in her pocket. It sparkled purple and white inside a crack deep in the stone.

"That's a geode. That's neat." I patted Lisa's back. "Okay, pepunk, go collect your stuff." I sighed. "Now we've got to split our junk."

"There's not much of it," Bree said, shrugging. "And I don't want much. Just this." She shook her cigar box full of baubles.

"You want the books?"

"Nah, take 'em."

"You want any, Star?"

She selected two paperbacks she hadn't read yet. We stuffed a change of clothes or two into two bags, and left the rest for Star to keep or trash, whatever she wanted. I put on my leather jacket, and carefully wrapped the purple sundress into the bottom of the bag. Lisa stuffed in her bunny and the geode. The broken plastic bear hung around my neck with string.

"Shoes," Bree said.

"I'll buy some cheapo flip-flops for Lisa somewhere." I tied my hair back into a ponytail. "She'll have to have some to get on the bus."

"Can I have the sandals?" Star asked, reaching for the bohemian looking footwear.

"Go for it." Bree took the flats, and I got the boots.

"Wow," Bree whistled, looking at the small bags we held, all possessions divided. "That's it."

I shook my head and grabbed a blanket off the pile. "Taking this for the bus."

"Good idea," she said, snagging another. "Oh! And I need to give you my address, too." Then she froze. "Unless —unless you don't want —"

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "Don't you say that," I commanded. "Don't you dare."

She relaxed and hugged me back, hard. "I mean, we went through hell together," she sniffed. "If that doesn't make a bond, what does?"

"You held my hand and cheered me up through some of the darkest nights of my life," I told her. "You never gave up, even when I did. I never gave you enough credit for that."

"You were there for me, too," she whispered. "I never would have made it without you."

I pulled back and rubbed my eyes. "Don't make me start crying now, girl," I laughed. "We made it."

"Yeah," she said, smiling brilliantly. "We did."

We walked out of the cave mouth slowly. Moonlight lit the four figures waiting by the bikes with studied indifference.

"I'm staying," Star announced as they turned and looked at us. "Laddie and me. If that's all right."

"Nice!" Paul exclaimed. "Welcome to the family, Sis! And little bro." He high-fived them both before giving Star a hug. Dwayne scooped Laddie up into a hug.

Marko stared at Bree. "Can we talk?" she whispered. They walked a little ways away.

"You all set?" David asked. He took a long drag on the cigarette he held, not looking at us.

I swallowed back the pang of bitterness. "Yes, all except for a pair of shoes for Lisa."

He slowly exhaled a cloud of smoke, and then dropped the butt and ground it out with his boot. "Sounds like a problem," he said, looking down at Lisa, not me. "You gonna be okay with riding to town with Paul?" he asked her.

"Yes. I like Paul." Lisa stared up at him seriously. "Why can't you come home with us?"

 _Wow, stick a knife in my chest, why don't you, pepunk,_ I thought, clutching the bag in a stranglehold.

David stared down at her for a moment, and then crouched down to her height. "It just wouldn't work out, kiddo," he said quietly. "But I appreciate the invite."

Lisa hesitated, and then threw her arms around his neck. "I'll miss you," she whispered.

He patted her back and didn't speak, finally looking up at me.

We hadn't even left yet, and I was breaking his heart, just as surely as he was destroying mine.

Bree walked over and nudged my arm, wiping her eyes. "Don't suppose you'd have any tissues," she muttered.

I dug in my pocket and handed her someone's monogrammed handkerchief. "Keep it."

She mopped her face and stared at the initials. "C, P… V?"

"The guy with the lisp," I said. "You remember. He spit a lot."

She blew her nose. "Oh, yeah."

"Are we ready?" David said.

"Yeah," Marko said shortly, crossing his arms. "We're ready."

I settled Lisa on the back of Paul's bike and waggled a finger under his nose. "Drive safe, and drive _slow._ You hear me?"

He saluted with a smile. "You got it, Mama."

"Never call me that again."

"Aye aye, Cap'n."

"Good enough."

Bree perched awkwardly behind Marko, and if she could do it, I could do it. I swung on behind David.

"You gonna tell me to drive slow?" he said, revving his engine.

"Will it do any good?"

"No."

He drove _very_ fast.

We had committed to our respective roads, and he seemed determined to dispense with his as quickly as possible. Like ripping off a Band-Aid, or pulling out a splinter. As if I was no more than a painful annoyance.

It wasn't a fair thought. Or true.

But we were both hurting.

The fierce wind made me squeeze my eyes shut. No tears could fall in the face of such force.

We arrived ahead of the rest, and I was able to buy a pair of canvas sandals for Lisa, as well as two one-way tickets to Texas before Paul pulled up with Lisa.

"Hey, pepunk, try these on," I said, handing her the shoes and pulling off the tag.

She sat on a bench and shoved them on, wiggling her feet. "They fit! Thank you, David," she declared, deducing who had given me the money.

He didn't say anything, and I forced myself not to look at him. "Did you thank Paul for the ride?"

She nodded.

Paul hooked a thumb behind him at the boardwalk, glancing at his leader. "I think there's a concert on tonight; I'm gonna check it out. Catch you later, Riss, kiddo."

I'd miss this goofball. "Bye, Paul," I said softly.

Lisa waved, and he disappeared into the crowd.

"Okay, we're gonna wait and say bye to Bree, and then we're off," I warned her. Bree and Marko were obviously taking the opposite tack, the "draw it out as long as possible" route.

"I'm tired," Lisa said around a yawn.

"We can sleep on the bus." I thumped my forehead. "Crap, I almost forgot. We've gotta call Mom. C'mon."

Before I even asked, a river of quarters poured into my palm, as well as a wad of cash. "Bus money," David muttered.

"Where did all this come from?" I asked, trying to straighten the crumpled bills.

"Don't ask."

I paused in my movements, but then handed a few quarters to Lisa and shoved the rest in my pockets. "Go call Mom. Let her know we'll be home tomorrow night."

As Lisa walked over to the dingy payphone, Bree and Marko finally pulled up. I helped her buy her ticket, made plans to call her soon after we got home —and finally I had run out of tasks. There was only Lisa, walking back from the phone booth, the steaming bus ready to pull out into the night —and David.

"Go and pick out some seats," I whispered to Lisa. She gave me a pointed look, but went up the steps of the bus. I turned around. "Take care of yourself. And look after Star, okay? She'll need it."

He wasn't looking at me. All this, all this point and misery and heartache, and he couldn't even look me in the eye?

I lifted my chin, gripping the bag's strap slung over my shoulder. "I love you."

He turned and finally met my eyes —his own blue eyes cold and shuttered. "You're leaving."

I shook my head slowly, refusing to give into tears now. "That doesn't make it any less true."

And then I was walking up the steps, and the doors closed behind me with a hiss. I settled into the seat beside Lisa and swallowed hard as the bus carried us towards the sunrise, and home.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hang in there! We've got a few more before the story ends!  
**

 **Chapter Eleven  
**

Nearly two full days on a bus didn't do much for our looks —not that they were fab to begin with. Our grubbiness and general unkempt status, plus my healing injuries, would have made lesser women quail.

But not my mother.

The second we stepped off the bus, she threw her arms around us, hugging and kissing every inch of us she could reach. I fell into her arms and sobbed. _Home_.

She looked older. Her blond hair, long like mine, had more gray in it than I remembered, and her face had lines I didn't recognize. _It's been almost a year._

She stroked my hair softly, clutching me close to her. "My daughter that was dead is alive again," she whispered. "She was lost, and is found."

I half laughed, trying to wipe away tears. I opened my mouth to say, ' _You know I'm not really a prodigal, Mom.'_

But I didn't say it. Because she _didn't_ know. I had been grabbed coming home from an evening class in the city; there probably hadn't been any proof I had been kidnapped. What must she have thought?

 _Now,_ I realized, _I've got to explain everything._

It was a very daunting thought.

* * *

On the way home, Mom let us pick up anything we wanted for dinner. Lisa decided on burgers, so we got the best, greasiest burgers and fries we could, with the biggest milkshakes.

Between the slurps, Lisa chattered about anything and everything during the car ride —except her week and a half long absence from home. She acted like she was coming home from vacation, thank goodness. Maybe she wouldn't end up scarred for life.

Me, on the other hand….

I pretended not to see the sidelong glances Mom sent me over the hour car ride. We had both mutually agreed, silently, not to bring up anything until we got home, so I allowed her the concerned but loving looks till then.

We pulled into our street, and the twinkle lights and Christmas decorations glowed in the night. Our house shone the brightest —Mom had left our Christmas decorations on to welcome us home. "What day is it?" I asked abruptly.

"December sixteenth," Mom said. "Friday." She pulled into the driveway and turned the car off.

"I'm home for Christmas," I whispered, not moving to exit.

"Did you already get the tree, Mama?" Lisa asked, jumping out and carefully juggling her milkshake and fries.

"No…. Maybe we could do that tomorrow," Mom suggested hopefully. "A nice relaxing day decorating."

"I'm home in time for Christmas," I said again, curling my fingers around the plastic bear hanging from my neck.

My mother came around to my side of the car and opened the door, gripping my free hand hard. "Yes, you are."

I looked at her for a long moment before standing and following her inside the house.

* * *

Once the burgers were eaten, Mom lit the fire in the fireplace, even though it wasn't _quite_ cold enough to warrant it. Lulled by the heat, Lisa eventually hit her sugar crash and slumped beside the fire in a doze.

Mom took my hand as the clock on the wall ticked loudly in the silence.

"I guess this is the part where I explain, huh?" I said softly, staring at the flames dancing in the grate.

Mom hesitated. "There is _nothing_ so bad that I can't hear it, honey. Absolutely nothing."

"It's not that," I said, biting my lip. "I just don't think you'll believe me."

"Try me, baby." She squeezed my hand.

I laughed a little. Where did I even start? "I was coming back from class," I said, clearing my throat. It wanted to close on me. "And on that long stretch of road after you get off the highway, I saw a person in the road. So…." I could see the scene clearly in my head, just as it happened —black stretch of road, trees all around, sliver of moon above —and a figure standing in the road. "I swerved. And then I stopped, because I thought maybe they had run out of gas, or wrecked, or…." The panic and fear welled up in the back of my mouth just as it had that night.

"They hadn't?" Mom said.

I shook my head, losing my words.

She wrapped her arms around me, and the human warmth and comforting thump of her heart disrupted the pall of fear that had fallen over me. "Take your time," she said, rubbing my back.

"They're dead now," I said into her shoulder. "I watched them die. Why do I still feel like this?"

"Reliving traumatic experiences is difficult," she whispered. "It doesn't matter if it's over, or if it happened a long time ago. But you're safe now. I'm here."

I pulled back and swiped at my eyes. Surely I had finished crying by now, but noooo. "They pulled me out of the car and took me to this place —I think it was a Quonset hut. There were two other girls there, too. They had been kidnapped, too. Their names —" my voice caught. "Their names were Allison and Rachel. I wish I knew their last names. They're dead now, too. They —they made us—"

I felt my mother still, and I had a ridiculous urge to laugh. I knew what she was thinking —but honestly, would prostitution have been better or worse than what we went through? "It wasn't sex. I promise you, it wasn't." I pulled away from her and unzipped my jacket. "It's easier to believe if I show you."

I slid the jacket off my arms and carefully peeled the gauze off my arms and my neck. I let her look at the scars, the teeth marks, and the scabs. "They were vampires. As impossible as it sounds —they were vampires."

With shaky hands, she turned my wrists over, staring at the bites, and then at my neck, still not fully healed, and all the wounds in between. "I believe you," she said in a shaky voice.

"They taught… other vampires… how not to kill humans when they fed," I said, feeling the idiocy in that statement. "So the point was to not kill us. But accidents happen."

"A whole year, you lived like this?" Mom said, her voice throbbing with anger.

"Yeah." I stared at the fire. "I didn't think I would ever come home. Not like this."

"If they weren't already dead, I'd kill them myself," Mom said darkly.

Against all my expectations, I laughed.

Mom hugged me and kissed my cheek. "So what happened, Rissa?"

"There were these boys…." And then the whole story came tumbling out of me, about Max's sons, my stupid decisions, and David, who took me to the Nutcracker and let me call my sister and read me poetry. Who bought me a bear full of bubbles that burned a man. Who saved my life.

I turned the plastic bear around and around in my hand. "It's stupid," I whispered. "I'm so stupid. I —"

"Do not say that, Marissa Townsend," my mother said strongly. "You did your best with what you were given, and I could not — _could not_ —be prouder of you, do you hear me?"

"Mom, what's the matter with me?" I whispered.

"Absolutely nothing," she said, lifting my chin. "And if he was here right now, I would throw my arms around him for saving my daughter's life."

"He's a vampire. He _kills_ people," I insisted.

"Yes, you've said. But he saved your life, and got you home. That proves to me that there's still some good in him." She brushed my hair away from my face. "But that's not your worry, honey. You can't save anyone's soul but your own."

The fire crackled and snapped in the grate, writhing between orange, yellow, and blue. I blinked, eyes smarting. "I feel broken."

Mom kissed my forehead. "You survived. Putting yourself back together will take time. Give yourself grace for that."

I stared at Lisa, slowly breathing in and out in front of the fire. I _had_ survived. But I had survived because of promises, obligations —not leaving Bree, getting Lisa home. What now?

While Mom got Lisa into bed, I walked upstairs to shower. Steeling myself, I walked to my room and flipped on the light.

It looked exactly the same, except maybe cleaner. My double bed's comforter still hung at an odd angle, as if only that morning I had tugged it up before driving off for community college. My dresser and desk were trash-free, but my knickknacks still lay haphazardly across their surfaces. Nothing was dusty.

 _She came in here and dusted,_ I thought to myself as I pulled pajamas out of a dresser, still fresh smelling from the potpourri in the drawer. She cleaned, but didn't move a thing.

 _She always thought you were coming home._

Had I, though? This was the room where the ghost of my old self had lived. But I wasn't that girl anymore.

Quietly closing the door, I padded down the hall to the bathroom. I turned on the water as hot as it would go and stepped under the spray.

I scrubbed hard at my hair, my face, my body, trying to eliminate the grime from several days of travel and cave living. Home. Soap in the right place, shampoo that smelled like strawberries instead of gardenia, or vanilla, or rain against stone and metal.

I turned my face up to the showerhead and inhaled the steam as my heart wrenched. What would he be doing now?

 _Stupid question_ , I reminded myself, rinsing my hair. They were vampires. What did I think they'd be doing? Some other girl like me might be bleeding —dying —I slumped against the wall and shook with pent-up sobs. How could someone hold me when I cried, but feel nothing about ripping another girl's threat out? How could I love somebody like that?

 _I just do._

* * *

The next day was only half filled with Christmas decorating, unfortunately. After buying a tree and starting to decorate it around lunchtime, we had visitors —the police.

Apparently not telling them that your kids are back is something they frown on.

At the thought of trying to tell half-truths that sounded believable, my mouth instantly dried, and I had a coughing fit in the hallway. Mom took my arm and steered me towards the kitchen and the water pitcher, insisting that she would tell them the truths they wanted to hear. "I will take care of this, Rissa," she declared. "You have had to carry too much for too long. I will do this."

So Lisa and I hid upstairs with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while Mom talked to the police chief in our living room. He went to our church; I hope it wouldn't backfire when Mom lied to him.

I played some music in my room and organized while Lisa flipped through Return of the King. Not our nice copy, the battered paperback. She had claimed it as her own personal property. I wondered about that, but didn't comment.

I culled my closet, tossing out items of clothing I hardly remembered and certainly didn't care about wearing again. I threw them in bags, and then boxed up the detritus that teenage rooms seem to acquire over the years —odd knickknacks from family trips, picture frames without pictures, stacks of notebooks never written in, scrawled notes from friends, and figurines and dolls left over from younger days. Some of it went into "keep" boxes, and other went into a donate pile. Then I pulled down tacky posters and pictures cut out from magazines that I had taped over the walls. Those went into the trash, too. I figured that once I had a ground zero, I could build my room and myself up, one thing at a time.

As the conversation downstairs wound down, I crept down the stairs and to the laundry room, staring a load of all the clothes we had worn and brought with us. I wasn't sure how much of it I'd keep, or if Lisa would like any of it, but I figured it should at least be clean if we were to donate it anywhere. My leather jacket I hung up in my closet.

Finally, the police car pulled out of our driveway, and I slunk into the kitchen with dirty dishes. "Did they buy it? What did you say?" I asked as I set the dishes in the sink.

She sighed and flopped down into a chair, rubbing her head. "Yes, they bought it. And now I'd better call Patty at the Daily Gazette."

"Why?" I crossed my arms.

She gave me a knowing look. "It's better if we get the fake story out there so everyone thinks they know what happened; that way, they don't ask you about it."

"So what did you _say,"_ I stressed.

"I said you went off to a party, fell in with a bad crowd, and got kidnapped. Then I said that at the beginning of the month, you managed to call home, and when I wasn't around, Lisa answered the phone. So she took it into her head to go find you, and with the help of some good Samaritans, they found you and got you out of there, and now you're both back home safely."

"Nice, Mom. Totally believable, if you watch a lot of Lassie and Homeward Bound."

She rolled her eyes at me and pulled her hair back. "Well obviously it sounds like we've left large chunks of the story out, but people will sidestep them, preferring to imagine what _may_ have happened than what actually did."

"So they'll think I got sex trafficked?" I inquired.

She raised an eyebrow. "If they do, it would be taboo enough that they wouldn't ask you about it."

"True," I mumbled. "And Lisa's the hero, which is something she can pull off."

"Mmmhmm." Standing, she rolled up her sleeves and walked to the phone. "Now, why don't you go tell her the story, and then maybe finish working on the tree?"

I stole a cookie from the jar and nodded. "Sure."

It worked out like she said. Lisa went back to school with the convenient excuse of "I got in so much trouble for leaving, I don't want to talk about it." We went to the church Christmas pageant —my first outing in a big place with my family, and I didn't have a panic attack. Everyone just said, "We're so glad to have you back," and stared when they thought I wasn't looking. We slipped back into a normal-ish pattern —except the pattern no longer fit me.

"So what story did you come up with?" Bree asked when she called at the end of the week.

I told her, highlighting the plucky little sister elements of the story. She laughed, and hearing that made me feel better. "What about you?" I demanded.

"Same deal. Kidnapped, finally got away. Everybody assumes sex," she said disgustedly. "Did you tell anybody the truth?"

"My mom," I said quietly. "Honestly, I don't know that she's really come to terms with it —and I doubt she will unless she sees a vampire in the flesh, which, God forbid. But it's one of those things, you know? She believes it because she believes me and she's seen all the scars, but it's still not really real."

"Yeah," Bree said. "I told my sister —the older one, who's married. She's the same way. Wants to think I'm making it up, but there's the teeth marks, so it's either vampires or weird cannibal cult." She snorts. "I prefer vampires."

I wound the phone cord around my finger and stared out the window. It was around 5:30, so dusk was falling quickly. "How are you doing? You know, with everything else?"

"I'm still catching up on what my family has been up to while I was gone, you know? Staring at pictures and scrapbooks and listening to stories," she giggled. "I don't think it's going to stop until after Christmas. Then maybe I'll have a second to think about my life, and what I want to do with it!"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to sing," she sighed. "Sing, sing, sing, and make it mean something."

I figured that was a pretty good goal.

"What about you, Riss?" she asked. "What do you want?"

"I don't know," I murmured. The dull hurt in my chest flared to life again. What I wanted — _really_ wanted —was impossible. Where did I go from impossible? "I guess I should go back to school, finish college. After that, I've got no clue. But I want to have," I added, setting my shoulders and swallowing hard. "I want to figure out what I want."

Bree said that sounded pretty good, too.

* * *

Our house filled up with relatives a few days before Christmas as aunts, uncles, and cousins arrived —a passel of cousins. Most were younger than I, which filled the house with a lot of ungodly screaming and running around, but the twins, Jack and Adam, were about my age. I had a lot of memories of me forcing my presence on them as a child when they obviously did not want me tagging along to anything they were about to do. Somewhere along the line (probably high school) I had given up the pursuit after I realized that they were not as cool as I had previously thought and I better things to do with my time.

Now, however, they stared at me like I was an alien whenever I was in the same room as them, and they awkwardly tried to engage me in their conversations.

"Can I just punch you both in the arm and have things go back to normal?" I sighed, setting the big dining room table for Christmas dinner. We had upended the stockings and ripped into the presents hours before; now we were waiting on the turkey to finish cooking in the roaster.

They exchanged sheepish glances, shifting from foot to foot. "Well, how are you, Riss?" Adam asked.

"Good," I said shortly, resisting the urge to roll my sleeves back as I worked. Twenty questions on my scars were the last things I needed.

"We —uh, we missed you," Jack said, sweeping his hair off his forehead.

"Thanks." I straightened a place setting, strangely touched. "How's school going?"

"Good," Adam said, reclaiming the conversation thread. "Starting my business classes next semester, so that's cool."

"Are you both doing business?" I couldn't remember.

"I'm accounting," Jack said.

"Well, you'll have to help me this next semester; I've gotta take my math requirement."

"So you're going back?" Adam demanded. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

Jack tried to kick him in the ankle.

Okay, fuzzy feelings gone now. "Yes, and yes," I snapped.

Adam rolled off Jack's restraining hand. "Because those creeps who took you —"

"They're dead."

"Are you _sure_?"

" _Yes_ —I watched them die." My voice rang out louder than I intended.

We all stared at each other with shifting eyes for a long moment. Then I stepped forward and punched them both in the arm. "Can we be normal now? Yeesh," I huffed. "Go help Uncle Mark with the turkey. We're almost ready to eat."

* * *

Christmas evening was always a time when we played board games, read the Christmas story, and watched classics like _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ and _Muppets Christmas Carol,_ followed by a large variety of pie. Stuffed to the gills again, we all drifted off to bed at varying times.

I don't know if it was the tryptophan in the turkey or what, but my dreams that night were especially vivid. I thought I was back in that house in Santa Carla, walking through the rooms. It was empty. Walking down the basement stairs, I stepped inside our tiny room. No light shone into the basement windows, so it must have been night here, too. Some of our things still lay strewn across the room, forgotten in our exodus. I reached out and touched my mural, the geometric shapes just smudges in the gloom. The silence settled in like fog, until the slow tread of boots rang on the stairs.

Moving like I was stuck in molasses, I turned far enough to see a figure loom at the doorway. "David," I mumbled.

Because this was a dream, he didn't hear me. His face seemed permanently frozen in a scowl as he stared around the room. He stepped up to the mural, reached out with a black-gloved hand, hovering over the section where I had inscribed our names: _Riss Bree Riss Bree Riss Bree Riss Bree_ and then, later on, _Riss Bree Star Riss Bree Star Riss Bree Star._ Further down, it read _Riss Bree Star Lisa Riss Bree Star Lisa._

He read the litany of four letter names slowly, tracing the path of the words in the air.

"I would've put your names there, too," I whispered. "I would have put them in the cave. I should've." I sighed and stepped forward, inhaling his smell of motor oil and rain-on-stone. "It's good to see you."

He didn't respond. I watched his jaw work, a muscle jumping. He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Cupping his hands, he lit the smoke and inhaled as the end burned orange. I could smell the tobacco as he exhaled. Curling, the smoke left his mouth in thin trails. Then he dropped the cigarette on the bunched bed covers, where it smoldered. We both watched it until the sheets caught, flaring up in a flash of orange and gold flame. Then he walked out of the room to the crackle of the fire.

Just before I woke in a sudden sweat, I saw him standing outside the house, watching it burn away.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: so in this equation I'm assuming stakes only work A) through the heart and B) if they're wood, so I was able to save a few of our boys but sadly not all :( But I hope this works and you stay with me for one more chapter after this!**

 **Chapter 12**

 _Eight months later_

David stumbled away from the house, coughing up blood. It was light outside —or near enough, in pre-dawn —and he wasn't bursting into flame.

He wasn't healing, either.

It had to be said, he was in much better shape than he ought to be after getting a pair of antlers shoved through his chest. He vaguely remembered Max pulling his body off the elk, dumping him on the floor before turning to the Emersons. Dumping his body, like nothing. Like garbage.

But Max was dead, and he wasn't. Yet.

He pulled off his gloves and dropped them, coughing into his hands and splattering his scarred skin with red. He didn't have gaping holes in him, so that was good. But he was gasping from the pain, and that was a problem because breathing was rough going. And he couldn't fly.

The sire was dead. His line had ended. He wasn't a vampire anymore.

And they were all dead. Paul, and Dwayne, and Marko —

Well. If he had survived an elk to the chest, maybe so had Marko.

He quickened his pace, making for the cliffs and the cave. It took him a long time to get there walking, but once the sun was well and truly up, he staggered into the cave and collapsed into the wheelchair. The main cave was empty. With shaking hands, he shucked off his jackets to inspect the damage.

"Who's there?" someone rasped from the darkness.

"Marko?" David called before a coughing fit overtook him. As he tried to expel a lung, Marko crept cautiously from the tunnel and stared at him with wild eyes.

"David, what happened, man?" he demanded, clutching his chest where a large chunk of flesh was still missing. "I felt —I thought —"

"They're all dead," David managed between coughs. "Max, too."

Marko collapsed onto the rim of the fountain and stared at him. "I feel… normal."

"Really?" David said sarcastically, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. It came back streaked with red. "I sure as hell don't."

"I— I—" Marko dove for the place where they hid the wine bottle.

"What are you doing?" David demanded, leaning back in the chair and rubbed his aching chest.

" _Fixing_ this!" He tripped on stone and fumbled in the alcove, arm trembling from the exertion. "They killed Paul and Dwayne, and I'm not gonna sit here and—"

"We haven't got any guarantee that bottle will work, now that Max is dust."David was just as surprised at his words as Marko. They stared at the unearthed jeweled bottle in silence as the light filtered into the cave and glinted eerily off the stones. The dark liquid inside sloshed in Marko's unsteady grip, only a few cups left in it.

"Max killed my kid brother," Marko whispered, staring at the bottle. "He killed him and turned me. His name was Brian. He was twelve." The bottle slipped from his fingers, landing on stone with a thud. "I forgot. How could I forget that?"

"Star forgot that Max existed," David said, fingering the holes in his shirt. "When she turned."

He remembered baling wire and flame, and watching a family camping ripped apart in front of his eyes. And then yellow eyes and ' _you seem like a likely lad'_ before the bite. He had forgotten, too.

"Shit," Marko breathed. "He played us." He rubbed a hand over his face. "Star betrayed us, didn't she."

David sighed, remembering the bright and happy girl Star had been, and the quiet, sorrowful person she had become in the eight months with them. "She made a choice."

He had done his best to look after Star …well. Not his best. But he had tried; after Dwayne had lost interest in her romantically, he had made himself her minder. He had even let her cry on his damn shoulder after that. Several times, though he had offered no comfort.

But she was stubborn, more than any of them had suspected. She wouldn't feed, wouldn't slip into their mindset. David didn't blame her for clinging to Michael —much, anyway. She hadn't been happy. He'd sometimes find her sitting in her grotto, staring around at possessions that weren't hers and fingering a slip of paper….

Wincing, he levered himself out of the chair and staggered to Star's mattress, staining the lace shawls and draperies as he rifled through the odd knickknacks the boys had won her on the boardwalk, the items she had found in the hotel rooms —and there, in an empty perfume bottle, was a rolled up piece of paper. Hands shaking, he shook it out and peered at the writing.

 _Bree, 7840 Wilson Dr., Topeka, KS_

 _Riss, 231 Manilla Ct., Woodbend, TX_

"What is it?" Marko wheezed, coming up beside him.

David handed over the paper without comment.

Marko stared at it. "You think… she ever called them?"

David stared off into space. "No."

"How come?"

He licked his lips. "We would've had two pretty determined girls up our asses if she had."

Marko laughed a little, and then coughed hard enough he sounded like part of his lung was coming up. When he finally got his breath again, he murmured, "I meant why didn't she call, but yeah, that makes sense too."

"If we forgot all this shit," David waved a hand to encompass the general humanness they now found themselves encumbered with again, "then we can chalk messing with willpower up to Max, too." He passed a hand over his face, bone tired in a way he hadn't been for years.

Marko fingered the piece of paper. "You know, with Max… we never thought about the future. Just did whatever he said. I never thought…."

"We can talk about second chances later," David muttered. He shifted, and the pain in his chest flared insistently "After we go to the hospital, maybe."

"Right," Marko said, stuffing the paper in his pocket. "Hospital first. Then second chances. Let's go."

* * *

They still had bikes, and cash they had squirreled away from kills. Neither of them fell off their bikes, which was also a plus. They managed to bribe a nurse at an urgent care center for stitches and painkillers.

They didn't go back to the cave.

"They think we're dead," David told Marko. "It's better if they keep thinking that."

"I'm still bitter about it," Marko grumbled. "I'm bitter about Paul and Dwayne." But there was more sorrow than anger in his words. They both remembered more about their lives before they had turned, though the memories were far from complete. But they both had lost things when they were added to Max's "family."

They headed east very slowly. They couldn't ride for very long, or very far, and they had trouble remembering that humans needed food more than once a day, and in healthy quantities. In tiny Podunk towns they got gas and ate at greasy spoons, having short spurts of conversation. "Do you remember when…" and "what do you think about…" were staples.

One memorable day, Marko muttered, "We used to kill people," as he stirred his coffee.

"Uh huh," David said around a mouthful of hash browns.

"We _liked_ it." Marko dumped half the sugar bowl in his mug.

"Uh huh." What else could he say? It was true.

Another time, Marko asked, "You think they'll want to see us?"

"Who?" David replied, just to be an ass.

Marko kicked him, nearly making David drop the roll of lifesavers and Coke on the floor of the gas station. " _You_ know."

He sighed, exasperated. "Isn't that why we're driving this way? To find out?"

* * *

They drove to Kansas first.

"It's so _flat_ ," Marko said, disgusted after miles of nothing. "Just corn forever."

David shot him an unsympathetic glance. "Get used to it, Toto."

"Shut your damn mouth," he grumbled, moving potatoes around his plate. They had stopped in a diner for dinner to rest their aching limbs and try to eat. "I can't believe we're doing this."

"You want my advice?" David asked, trying to convince himself that he wanted more than three bites of meatloaf.

Marko groaned and slumped back in his chair. " _No_." He glared. "Fine."

"Comb your hair." David smirked. "And maybe hide the jacket. You'll meet her family, too —you should try not to look like a hoodlum."

Marko went white. "Her family. I don't know anything about her family."

"Nothing?"

"Well, that she had some, I guess, but nothing _specific_."

"Better shape up," David observed, putting another bite in his mouth with great reluctance. "We'll be in Topeka tomorrow."

* * *

They idled around the neighborhood the next morning, lurking a block away. "Do I look all right?" Marko demanded.

David inspected him. He had stowed the colorful jacket in his pack and wore dark jeans, sans chaps, and a Clint Eastwood Carmel By The Sea T-Shirt. His curly hair was braided back, and the earring was in his pocket until he figured out how Bree's folks felt about them. "Sure," David replied, completely deadpan. He wondered why he was the reasonable sounding board.

"What if she doesn't wanna see me?"

"We won't know until she slams the door in your face," David said with faux cheerfulness. As he spoke, the house they eyed down the street lifted its garage door; a van pulled out.

"Damn, they're leaving," Marko hissed. "We've gotta wait until they come back?!"

David squinted, a buried fact slowly surfacing in his mind. "It's Sunday."

"So?" Marko demanded.

"They're going to church."

The response he got wasn't one he expected. "Well, let's go, come on!" Marko exclaimed, putting his bike in gear.

David stared at him, face blank. Then he shrugged. "Okay."

They slunk in the back of the church just as the service started. Sitting in the very last row, they peered around at the large sanctuary full of people as the sizeable choir filed out on stage and started to sing.

The church was big on hand clapping, and David felt very out of place among the loud and boisterous congregation for the song portion of the service. They did settle down for the offertory, though.

A girl stepped forward from the choir. David had to squint to make sure, but yes —that was Bree. Marko stiffened beside him. She looked good, vibrant —and her hair was no longer loose, but braided in many small braids. She stood straight, with set shoulders and closed her eyes as the piano played the song's introduction.

The words to "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" flowed out of her in a warm contralto tone, echoing around the room, filling up the space. In the second verse, a woman came out of the choir to join her, and the choir harmonized in the background.

 _"I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free, His eye on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."_

They crescendoed, and the song ended to a chorus of applause.

Standing, the pastor took the pulpit and began the sermon, but David didn't hear a word. He stared off into space, lost in thought. After several dark months, stuck in a funk that wouldn't lift, he had sometimes regretted letting the girls leave. Specifically Riss.

Even though rationally he knew all his arguments for letting them choose made sense, emotionally, instinctively, he wanted to go back in time and change it. Because even if they were miserable and began to hate the pack, they'd at least _be there,_ and maybe their presence would have fixed the ache in his chest and this gnawing hunger that no blood could satisfy.

That bitterness had festered in him for a long, long time. But he knew now, clear headed at last, that he had done the right thing. Maybe the only right thing he'd ever done as a vampire.

Marko could not sit still for the service, and the moment everyone opened their eyes from the closing prayer, he was out of his seat and making his way towards the choir, who were filing out of the sanctuary to change their robes. David followed, navigating the rush of people. Marko dodged through a side door into a hallway, and David grabbed the door just in time to hear Marko call, "Bree!"

The girl turned.

Her face registered shock, confusion —and then amazement. "Marko?" She shoved her robes at the woman who had sung the duet with her and walked forward, pulling the hem of her summer dress straight.

"Hey," Marko whispered.

"What are you doing here?" Bree said, eyes wide. "It's day —"

Marko laughed, a genuine laugh, and then coughed. He rubbed his chest. "Yeah, about that —"

"Hey, Bree," David interrupted. They were still in crowded hallway, and there wasn't any need to holler 'we're not vampires anymore' until they were a little more alone.

"David, hi," Bree said, a flicker of a smile appearing on her face before focusing back on Marko. "Are you okay, Marko?" He was still clutching his chest.

"Mmm, depends on your definition of okay —"

" _This_ is Marko?" the other woman demanded, coming up. Upon close inspection, she looked like Bree, with short curly hair and slightly lighter skin.

"Tamara," Bree said, "This is Marko and David. Guys, this is my sister Tamara."

Tamara eyed both of them with narrowed eyes. Bree elbowed her. "They're in church, girl. Don't go for the holy water just yet." She turned back to the boys. "Something's happened, hasn't it?"

"It takes a long time to tell," David said, crossing his arms.

"Tell Mom you're going to lunch with me and some friends," Tamara said, giving Bree a push. "We'll find someplace quiet and talk."

"What about Ben?" Bree asked.

"He's got a meeting this afternoon. My husband," Tamara added at David's odd look. "Go on."

"Don't get mean while I'm gone," Bree warned.

"No promises," Tamara said, crossing her arms and cocking a hip.

Bree walked out of the room, and her sister turned back to them. Taking a step forward, she grabbed Marko and kissed him smack on the forehead. "Thank you for taking care of my sister."

"Y-you're welcome," Marko said, stunned.

* * *

Over lunch, they told the story in bits and pieces as the girls reminded them to eat every so often. They noticed the odd mannerisms the guys displayed —not being able to look directly at a light source, forgetting what to do with food, moving ever so slightly differently. Most of the time, though, their jaws were on the table at what David and Marko say.

"You just _forgot_?" Bree demanded. "About your _life_?"

"It just felt really far away," Marko said, picking at the cornbread and green beans on his plate. "It never seemed important."

"You were pretty terrible to that girl," Tamara noted, frowning at them both.

"Star?" David raised an eyebrow. "No. We were terrible to Michael. We were terrible, in general, but I don't think we were ever terrible to Star."

"I wish she had _called_ me," Bree whispered. "Maybe she called Riss."

The fork headed to David's mouth paused en route for a split second.

"It might have been Max's mojo." Marko stared at the food left on his plate like he couldn't remember what to do with it.

Bree picked up the cornbread and buttered it, handing it back to Marko. "This whole thing has really done a number on you two." Her eyes were sad. "I'm sorry about Dwayne and Paul. I know you miss them."

Marko took a bite of the cornbread. David didn't answer.

"So what are you going to do now?" Tamara asked, tapping her fingers against the tabletop.

The boys exchanged looks. "I don't know," Marko said. "I just —I wanted to see you, Bree." His voice trailed off in a whisper.

"They're staying with us," Bree told her sister strongly. "They haven't got anybody else. Unless —" she turned to David. "Are you going to see Riss?"

Marko smirked. "He's got her address."

David shot him a look.

"Hey. She'll want to see you," Bree said, locking eyes with him. "Trust me."

He really, really wanted to.

 **AN2: for the song, look up Sister Act 2, His Eye Is On The Sparrow if you want to get a good idea of what I was thinking of.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: this is it! THE LAST CHAPTER! Also included is the poem by Mary Oliver where I got the title of the story, just so you know. The poem is not mine, though I love it. I hope you have enjoyed this story, though it may be different from most Lost Boys stories. Thanks for coming on this journey for me :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 13  
**

And he thought _Kansas_ was hot.

The Texas heat boiled down on him whenever he stopped to rest. The coat he wore, while helpful when riding the bike, was black and heated up insanely fast when motionless. Why everyone in this state didn't just melt was beyond his understanding. This must be why Riss had been able to stand up to literally everyone for a year —she had been forged in fire.

David, following a gas station map, arrived at a subdivision off a two-lane road. After following the curves and twists inside the subdivision, he pulled up in front of a blue two-story house with a lawn of dying grass, but somewhere he could hear a hose running. Shucking off his long outer coat, he left it and his bag on the bike. After all, he might have to turn around if the door slammed in his face.

He followed the walkway to the front door, double checking the house number. Yes, this was it.

 _Are you kidding me,_ he thought to himself, feeling his hands sweat as he squinted in the bright afternoon light. _After all of this, now is when I get nervous? Ring the damn bell._

He rang it, and heard the jangle deep inside the house.

Feet walked to the door, and the deadbolt clicked back.

"Hello?" the woman asked, tucking back long blond hair that was graying at the roots. She had large eyes and lines around her eyes and mouth. "Can I help you?"

"Hi," David said, trying for a smile that wasn't working. "Is Riss here?"

She gave him an odd look. "She's around the back…. Who—"

Her words were cut off by the shriek and patter through the house. "Lisa, no running inside!" the woman hollered behind her automatically.

"She's gonna get me, she's gonna get me!" Lisa yelled, not slowing a bit as she appeared in the hallway. Her eyes lit on him. "DAVID!"

Instinctively, he braced his knees.

Lisa launched herself into his arms. "David, David, you're here!"

He scooped the girl up and spun her around, but carefully, to try to disperse some of the momentum she had picked up. He found himself laughing. "You haven't changed a bit."

Lisa gasped. "Yes, I have!" She wriggled out of his arms and stood barefoot on the front stoop, slapping a hand on top of her head. "I'm _taller_ , see?"

"My mistake," David replied, grinning irrepressibly.

The woman in the doorway stared at him like he had three heads. "You mean _you're_ —"

"Lisa, you're never allowed to use the hose again!"

David looked up.

"That's the third time this _week_ —" Riss ran around the side of the house and stumbled to a halt. Her shirt was soaking wet and sticking to her skin; luckily, it was dark blue. Her lips parted, but no sound came out.

If there had been any doubt before, he was now sure he was alive. His heart thumped painfully enough to make him struggle for air.

Lisa gripped his hand and bounced up and down. "Riss, look! It's David!"

One of them was going to have to move. She was in shock. He didn't know what to do, but he'd have to decide pretty damn quick. He took a step towards her, heart in his mouth, which was sure to be helpful when he got close enough to speak to her.

Then Riss was off like a shot, running towards him as fast as she could. It was all he could do to catch her the same way he caught Lisa, by spinning her around before setting her down.

Throwing her arms around him, Riss clutched him as hard as she possibly could. "You're _here?_ "

He winced. "Ease up on the rib cage, huh?"

She looked at him with tears glinting in her eyes. "Answer me, damn it."

He decided just to kiss her instead.

* * *

I did have the thought _I'm kissing David in front of my mother and sister,_ but I set it aside for the moment and just enjoyed it. Because I've really missed his kisses.

He broke away first to breathe and whispered, "I wasn't sure you'd want to see me."

"That's because you can be an idiot sometimes." I sniffed and wiped my eyes. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, starting to smirk.

"Don't," I warned, feeling sweat trickle down my back. "You're _here_ , in Texas, and it's three in the afternoon. You should be on fire."

"Rissa," Mom said, and we both guiltily turned to look at her. She was blinking a lot, but on her lips a smile was fighting its way free. "Why don't you invite this young man in, and you can have all the time you like to talk." She shot me a significant look, and I remembered the wet shirt plastered to my body.

"C'mon," I said, grabbing his hand and tugging him indoors into the welcome coolness of air conditioning.

"I can show you around!" Lisa offered. "You want to see my room?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, show David your room while I change, pepunk," I said, placing another kiss on his lips. "Be right back." I dashed up the stairs and into my room, peeling the shirt off and scrounging for something else to wear, all the while thinking, _David's here. David's here. David's here._

It didn't seem real.

I pulled a black tank top over my head and walked back into the hallway where Lisa chattered away. "—And here's my growth chart, you can _see_ I grew!" She pointed to the marks on the wall.

"I stand corrected," David said, nodding seriously.

"Two whole inches!" Lisa jabbed a finger at the chart.

"We'll have to tie a brick on your head soon," I joked. "Go help mom with Mom with dinner, huh pepunk?" I gave Lisa a push.

She shot me a wide-eyed look that clearly meant _'are you going to start kissing again,'_ but I ignored it.

"You're still making up for that soaking," I warned.

She walked backwards down the stairs, and tripped halfway down. We both heard the thump.

"That's what you get," I said in a carrying voice before turning back to David.

Seeing him in the daylight —in my house— felt like some kind of strange dream. "I can't believe you're here."

His mouth twitched, a ghost of his old familiar smirk. "Me neither,"

I hadn't missed the way his gaze took in everything, the doilies Mom had inherited on both sides of the family and couldn't find enough places to put them, the worn tread in the carpet, and the family pictures covering the walls. In the reflected glass, I could see just how worn he looked… how tired _._ Instinctively reaching out, I touched his cheek, feeling the stubble under my fingers. "David, what _happened_?"

He curled his fingers around mine, the last vestiges of his armor dropping away to leave him open and vulnerable in a way I had never seen before. "It's a long story."

"So take your time," I said, gently tugging him into my room. "We've got time, right?" I sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah," he sighed, sitting beside me and gazing around the room. His eyes landed on one of the few posters I had left hanging. "You like _Blade Runner_?"

"Yes, I do," I said dryly, "and we can talk about that after."

He didn't look at me, just stared out my window at the back yard, or maybe at the late afternoon sunlight streaming in. "We were in a bad way," he began abruptly, "when you left. A fun cocktail of anger, bitterness, and Max's manipulation. Something we didn't know until he bit it."

"Max is _dead_?" I interjected.

He laughed, surprising us both. "No interruptions from the peanut gallery, or I'll never finish."

"Fine," I sighed, leaning against his shoulder and looking up at him. "But hurry up."

"Where was I?"

"In a bad place."

"Right. Max bought that we had killed you —either on accident or because you were resistant to turning —but he was annoyed that we had made such a big stink about keeping you beforehand. So he sort of… ensured that wouldn't happen again. And that made us just close off and shut down. In every way."

He didn't elaborate on the deterioration, and I was grateful. I didn't want to imagine what they had gotten up to without full autonomy. "Which made it rough for Star. She didn't want to complete the change so she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I did try to look out for her," he added. "But I don't think it helped much. People kept disappearing from the boardwalk because we were rebelling against… what we learned. So Max decided plan A had no effect, time for plan B —we need a mother's influence and love to get us to fall in line."

"You're kidding," I said flatly.

He gave me a look that clearly stated, _I could not make this up if I tried._

"So we recruit one of her sons, because that makes _way_ more sense than Max telling this woman 'I think you're really swell, please marry me.' Anyway, Star disapproves; she's got a crush on him. The other brother makes friends with some preteen vampire hunters —"

"You know, you suck at this story telling thing," I informed him.

Just to spite me, he continued, absolutely deadpan, "There was a showdown; Max died. So did Dwayne and Paul. Marko and I got impaled but it wasn't through the heart —"

I held up a hand. "Back up— Paul and Dwayne are dead?" My voice cracked on the last word. "I'm so sorry, David." I gripped his hand, which was cold, even in the summer heat. He squeezed back. Then the rest registered.

"Impaled?!" Horrified, I stared at his chest. "Is that why —you said your ribs —David!"

He smirked. "You're cute when you're worried."

I grabbed his lapel. "Stop it—is that why you look like a wreck? Are you okay?"

"We'll see," he said cryptically. "I hear a lot of terrible things can happen to humans."

I snorted, exasperated. "Fine," I said, standing. I tugged on his jacket lapels as he stared in mute confusion. "You said 'we'll see.' So show me where you got impaled."

He shot me an annoyed look. "Riss, you can't see anything —"

"Humor me, then," I hissed.

With great reluctance, he shrugged off his jacket and, with obvious physical discomfort, peeled his black t-shirt off. I had to help a little at the end. "It was a pair of horns,' He said, pointing to the raw and red patches of new skin on his chest. "A mounted elk head. Entered through my back, exited here."

"Oh, my God," I whispered, brushing the patches of skin with my fingertips. He shivered at my light touch.

He should have died. But what hit me the most was not those healing scars, but the old white lines that wound down his arms and over his pale chest. "David, how did you get these?"

He inspected his arms like he had never seen them before, then up at me. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" I repeated, sinking down beside him again, feeling as shaky as jello.

"I don't remember much about my past," he said. "Max had a hand in that, I think. It's all fragments." He looked at me sidelong. "Can I put my shirt back on?"

"I don't know," I shot back, only half joking. "Can you?" And I did have to help him, a little. "What's still healing?"

He winced. "Ribs… organs, I don't know."

"You don't _know_?!"

"We couldn't just walk into an urgent care and say 'hey we got impaled but we're half healed already, what can you do for us from here,' could we?"

"So what did you do?"

"I woke up, half alive, and drug myself back to the cave. Marko was there in a similar state. And we realized that Max had messed with our heads, and that we were human again." He shrugged. "I found the addresses you and Bree had left for Star, and we decided that we wanted to see you both. That's it."

"What about Star?"

"She and Laddie are human again. She's probably with her new boyfriend, doing fine."

I licked my lips. "So you and Marko just… decided after all this that the only thing you wanted to do was come and see us?"

He smirked. "Is that so hard to believe?"

" _David_ —"

"Does this mean you still love me?" he whispered, cupping my cheek.

"You —you—" Worry and anger effectively canceled each other out, leaving me speechless. Nearly. "You are an absolute ass sometimes, you know that?"

"But do you love me?" he whispered.

I leaned in. "You're a smart guy," I murmured. "Figure it out."

His lips on mine, soft and sweet, was something I had dreamed of, on nights where I woke before dawn and the sky was just beginning to turn gray. In that half-awake state, I would drowse and try not to think about the awful things that so often crept into my mind during the nights. Instead I thought about kissing David, one of the only good things I had from that year.

This kiss managed to leave all the others behind.

* * *

"He's staying for dinner, isn't he?" Lisa said when we finally emerged downstairs.

"Uh… he's probably going to stay the night," I said, glancing at my mother who was directing Lisa to set the table. "Is that cool, Mom?"

"Of course," she said, straightening with a small smile. "We're very happy to have you, David."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

We all noticed —Mom most of all —how eating was something David had to consciously remind himself to do. The king ranch casserole and salad disappeared at a very slow rate of speed from his plate. However, that just trapped him at the table for longer, an easy target for Lisa's rambles. To give him credit, he sat and nodded attentively through it all.

After dinner, Lisa connived and wheedled to get us all into the den to watch the latest Disney movie. I leaned against David and wondered all through the movie if this was the most normal thing we'd ever done.

"The bathroom's just through there," Mom said, carrying a stack of sheets and blankets into the den after the movie. "And the couch is very comfortable. We've all fallen asleep on it a time or two." She put the stack down and straightened. "Would you like one pillow or two?"

"Ah," David said, looking askance at me, one of the only times I'd ever seen him out of his element. "I really don't need any. But thank you."

"Well, you can use the couch cushions as well if you change your mind," she said, dusting her hands off. "Now, I'll put a set of towels in the bathroom for you —"

"Mom," I interjected. Though it had been very interesting to watching David feel more and more awkward, I decided to take pity on him. "It's fine."

She smiled at me in the way moms do. "Well, if you need anything else, you can ask Rissa. We'll see you in the morning, David."

"Good night," I told her as she headed upstairs to put Lisa to bed.

Neither of us was in a chatting mood, so I put in _Blade Runner,_ and we watched it until the credits rolled and my eyelids drooped with exhaustion. Then I said, "I've got to go to bed; I've got work in the morning."

"Yeah," he sighed as I disentangled myself from him and stood.

"I'll see you in the morning," I promised.

His mouth twisted into a smirk. "See you."

Upstairs, I put on pajamas and fell into bed, flopping around like a fish before eventually dozing off. I drifted in and out of dreams I couldn't quite remember, always jerking awake and staring around my room for something missing, something I couldn't quite place. Around three a.m., I stared at my bedside clock in frustrated resignation. "Ugh."

Throwing back the sheet, I padded out of my room and down the stairs to the den, where David lay stretched out on the couch, the lamp in the corner on.

When I hovered in the doorway, he turned towards me. He was still awake, too, reading a history book from the bookshelf. It was one of my dad's about Normandy and the D-Day landing.  
He lifted an eyebrow. "You can't sleep either, huh?"

"Scoot over," I said, my voice thick with sleep.

He moved over on the wide cushions, and I lay down beside him, tugging his blanket over me. He wrapped the arm not propping up the book around me so I wouldn't accidentally fall off the edge. We lay like that in the dim light, our breathing slowing enough to synchronize.

Then David stuck his finger in the book and closed it. He finally said, "I never asked you what you've been doing for the past eight months."

In a slow whisper, I recounted to him our homecoming, the awkward Christmas, and the insomnia that gripped me, eased off, and then came back with a vengeance, the product of a year spent in the dark. I told him how I had trouble reconnecting with the people I had grown up with, the friends I had made in college. They didn't know how to act around me, even though I said over and over again, they just had to act normal. None of us knew what normal was anymore.

Mom wanted me to talk to somebody about it all. I kept saying that no one would understand.

I explained that I was going back to school for a counseling degree, with an art therapy minor, to maybe give some other kid the tools that I hadn't had. I was working in the college admissions office to help pay for everything. The college had understood about my "leave of absence;" they hadn't made me pay for the missed semesters.

"Sounds like a pretty good plan," David murmured.

"Yeah?" I whispered. "I think so, too."

"Makes me a little glad I can't remember who I was before all this." His breath tickled the back of my neck. "I don't have to have an existential crisis about who I am."

"I can't really imagine you doing that anyway." I rolled over to face him. My nose brushed his. "So do you have a plan? For the future, I mean."

He tilted his head in an "ehh" gesture. "Coming here was my plan."

"That's it?"

"What do you mean, that's it," he mumbled. "I woke up from brainwashing and thought, 'I want to see Riss, the girl I love.' That's a pretty good plan. And I accomplished it, which is something else. Now…" he shrugged. "Read all these books, I guess. Be helpful. See what happens when I've got a future to look forward to."

I stilled beside him. "You love me."

"Well, yeah," he whispered, brushing strands of hair away from my face.

"It's just …you've never said it before," I admitted, smiling up at him.

"My mistake." He brushed his lips against mine. "I love you, Riss. And I don't know what to do after any of this, but I'm going to figure it out. Hopefully with you, if you're okay with that."

"More than okay," I said. I let my head fall back against his chest and closed my eyes as he picked up the book again. In the morning, the sun would rise, and David would be here, his arm around me, his heart beating in time with mine. A future I never thought possible in my wildest dreams. And I would step into the world, wild and unfamiliar, full of broken parts and wounded skin, but I would do it with him by my side. Someone who did understand.

 _We are both together and alive_ , I thought as I drifted off to sleep. _What a miracle._

* * *

 **A Settlement** by Mary Oliver

Look, it's spring. And last year's loose dust has turned into this soft willingness.  
The wind-flowers have come up trembling,  
slowly the brackens are up-lifting their curvaceous and pale bodies.  
The thrushes have come home, none less than filled with mystery,  
sorrow, happiness, music, ambition.

And I am walking out into all of this with nowhere to go  
and no task undertaken but to turn the pages  
of this beautiful world over and over, in the world of my mind.

* * *  
Therefore, dark past,  
I'm about to do it.  
I'm about to forgive you

for everything.


End file.
